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Comment Archives: stories: Arts + Life: Ask Athena

Re: “I'm in Love With a Much Older Woman, But I'm Worried

Dear Athena, I think I'm falling in love with a woman 15 years older than me we work together and really hit it off as friends now we have revealed deeper feelings for each other but are cautious about going any further . She dated a younger guy before that didn't work out for her and I have a baby momma that I tried to make work but it hasn't gotten any better we are not together. But I'm a lot happier when I'm around the older woman but I don't know how things will go with me having a child plus my baby momma now wants to get back together though my feelings for her have diminished after every fight and situation with her what should I do?

Sincerely, a guy

Posted by guyguy on 11/24/2016 at 7:41 PM

Re: “Now That I'm Recovered, I Want to Leave My Partner

You can love someone without being in love with them. I don't want anyone to feel a personal obligation to me, but sometimes people need one another and what may not work out at the time may be instead a time of personal growth for both people. In this case perhaps you were shown love which got you through a health crisis which may now lead to your soul mate. the one who took care of you now knows how to love someone at their most difficult times and in turn grew as a more empathetic soul in the process. Any love however short or long is a gift. Be well

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Jade77 on 11/12/2016 at 8:33 PM

Re: “Now That I'm Recovered, I Want to Leave My Partner

Are you kidding me!? Why didn't you break up with him while he was bending over backwards for you if you didn't love him anymore? Was he your convenient emotional crutch? Your fair-weather nurse/breadwinner? I agree with Athena that staying with him won't help now but if you feel shitty about your actions it's with good reason. You could have set him free much earlier. I can't imagine your transition out of love occurred the moment your oncologist told you you were in remission.

18 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by RixFix on 11/10/2016 at 3:02 PM

Re: “How Can I Tell Women About My Foot Fetish? wrote an article about this that I though was really good as well. Cheers

Posted by Ana Spie on 10/31/2016 at 1:38 PM

Re: “Is There a Penis Size That's Just Too Small?

Tell Rob he can try penis exercises like jelqing or penis pumps. Penis pumps can help and also there's a new product called Penilizer or The Penilizer? that has good reviews.

Posted by acabrerapr2 on 09/27/2016 at 9:58 PM

Re: “Is There a Penis Size That's Just Too Small?

What made Athena say "the ladies"? There was no indication of with what gender Rob's bad experiences were. Seven Days, you can do better than that.

5 likes, 7 dislikes
Posted by KB1234 on 09/25/2016 at 9:02 PM

Re: “My Boyfriend Spends More Time With His Parents Than Me

I have the same problem me and my boyfriend met a year ago we moved in together in feb. He has a son i have a daughter he doesnt have custody over his son but he wants him his son just moved to texas in july even when he was living with us his dad never spent tine with him i was taking care of him hes suppose to move back in nov. My boyfriend works 2pm to 11:45pm everyday even weekends i never see him when he goes to work im working when he comes home im sleep i never see him on weekends that hes off he goes back to his hometown with his parents and stay weekend his hometown is only a hour away from where we stay when hes gone all i do is stay home and watch tv i never go out i cook clean still not good enough when hes not at his parents there calling him all threw the day i asked him to spend more time he just says hes busy but not to busy to go bck to your hometown he doesnt kiss me say i love you miss you none of that he doesnt even hug me we dont go on dates or if we stay in we never do anything in the house but watch his. Channels or something i just dont know we used to stay on the phone for hours now he spend less and less time at home

Posted by Honeybrown18 on 08/26/2016 at 5:23 PM

Re: “What Are the Long-Term Effects of Anal Sex?

Anal sex is disgusting. I don't care what any of you say or how you feel about it. Your asshole is meant to let waste out. Not to be fucked. That's why there's a VAGINA an organ that's meant to have sex and give birth. Ugh I swear the nastiness you people do really disturbs me. You're literally fucking a shit hole. But whatever you people just keep being you. All of y'all are nothing but a bunch of nasties.

75 likes, 83 dislikes
Posted by the.honest.truth on 08/11/2016 at 9:38 PM

Re: “What Are the Long-Term Effects of Anal Sex?

Ladybeth, Eve called him out on comparing his ass to a vagina - something which he does not have. She didn't knock anal and you obviously haven't thought of your own anatomy or her analysis to realize that she is right. I've given birth through my VAGINA twice not through my anus, though i enjoy anal sex on occasion as well. What about you? You sound like you're a crazy judgmental woman hater for even saying that. You're an asshole and telling her to 'keep her negativity' aren't you doing the same thing? Where and how do you get off by being the first one to throw stones?

32 likes, 30 dislikes
Posted by siren on 08/10/2016 at 10:10 AM

Re: “I Want More Sex Than My Husband Does


Posted by Lb on 07/11/2016 at 1:45 PM

Re: “What Are the Long-Term Effects of Anal Sex?

I did not see anyone promoting anal sex, they only described their experiences.

Eve, if you are so against this practice, why are you on this blog? I sense a backdoor wanna be, but has no partner to enjoy it with.

Your facts are not backed by any medical expert, only your opinions, please keep your negativity and lonesome misery to yourself.

89 likes, 58 dislikes
Posted by ladybeth on 06/17/2016 at 9:08 AM

Re: “What Are the Long-Term Effects of Anal Sex?

Timber you are an idiot. I stop reading after you said the vaginal wall is more delicate then the anus. You do realize the whole female sexual organ purpose is to give birth. How in the he!! could an organ going thru that much trauma pushing out a small human being have more delicate walls then an anus that pushes out stool!? Please, use your mind. Also the vaginal bacteria is a balanced between good and bad bacteria. Also the vagina is self cleaning. I doubt the anus is. You got so caught up in your feelings that you left facts and logic at the door. Shame.

127 likes, 65 dislikes
Posted by Eve on 06/03/2016 at 7:26 AM

Re: “I Feel So Lame Being Single

Please stop telling people they need to fix themselves before someone will love them.

2 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by John Antram on 05/29/2016 at 10:39 AM

Re: “I Peed During Sex and Am So Embarrassed

My fiancé has made me SQUIRT whether it be pee or female ejaculation and he loves it so do I. It's the best feeling yes I felt weird at first bc he's the only person I've ever been with that has made me do that but he's also the best lover I've ever had too. Hell last night alone I did multiple times and it was by his doing not mine bc he knows what makes me SQUIRT and what doesn't. So if a man has an issue with it its bc they don't care about getting you off to the best of their ability or just don't know how or just aren't comfortable enough with themselves let alone another person.

17 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Christina Morgan on 05/25/2016 at 3:39 PM

Re: “Should We Stay Married for the Kids?

We know couples who faced this same situation and committed to getting help from pastors, family therapists, and other pros; those couples could not be happier today. Mary Cotton hit the nail on the head with her comments. I don't know why this needs a one sided answer when other letter writers get so many options for seemingly trivial issues. Perhaps a checklist is in order for the writer - did I give at least two or three options and consider the alternatives. Staying together for the sake of children is a bad decision, but falling back in love and rekindling the spark that brought you together in the first place is magical.

4 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by com1padres on 05/16/2016 at 9:31 AM

Re: “Should We Stay Married for the Kids?

Any relationship is about compromise and sacrifice, but if you are stifling all of your needs and happiness for your partner, you are doing it wrong. There will be times where your partner or your children (especially children) are in need and you'll need to put aside something to take care of that, but if nothing in your relationship makes you happy, why are you doing it? Especially if your partner isn't happy either? Are they supposed to set aside their personal happiness for you?

And if someone "at their worst" is someone you can't stand to be around, they aren't showing you any love. Love is supposed to make people better, not drag everyone down into a co-dependent pit of despair. I say if you aren't happy, split - work things out, but you might find that you are stronger and better caretakers for your children when you aren't dealing with your anguish and unhappiness in your relationship. Or change things up - maybe just separate, or see other people. But make a change - you, your partner, and your kids deserve it.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Swashbucklr on 05/15/2016 at 1:50 PM

Re: “Should We Stay Married for the Kids?

I'd say setting aside personal happiness and well being is exactly what marriage is about. If I put my happiness and well being at the center of any relationship it means there's no self sacrifice, and my needs being met becomes the central goal. The other person simply becomes a means by which I make myself happy instead of a person with dignity who deserves to be loved and served regardless of what they can offer me at any particular season of life. To love someone at their worst, when they have nothing to offer, is to truly love. Of course there are exceptions, as in cases of abuse or blatant and consistent breaking of trust. But as a previous commenter said, to say definitively "no, no, no" is to skip over the possibility that working on the relationship with counseling shouldn't be considered. I often very much appreciate the advice Athena gives in this column, but on this one I want to humbly and respectfully disagree.

4 likes, 5 dislikes
Posted by jepvt on 05/14/2016 at 3:48 PM

Re: “Should We Stay Married for the Kids?

I'm surprised Athena did mention counseling! Are they sure their marriage has no hope for survival? While I agree that staying together for kids is not necessarily the way to go, why not encourage them to explore whether the marriage can be resurrected?

11 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Mary Cotton on 05/14/2016 at 10:46 AM

Re: “What Are the Long-Term Effects of Anal Sex?

"Let's not even talk about the long term effects of anal sex which loosens the anus over time making late life miserable."

Source? Or is it BS like the rest of your post? You do realize the vagina and mouth have bacteria, and the vaginal walls are actually quite delicate and tear substantially more than the anus? The natural presence of blood lets this bacteria into the bloodstream as well. Unless the anus tears through all the protecting layers and there is blood, there will be no bacteria introduced into the blood stream.

Done properly anal sex can be performed virtually every day, indefinitely, while maintaining a healthy body. My long time wife and I are living proof of this, each being recipients of anal sex throughout the weeks, months and years of our partnership. It doesn't happen every time we have sex, but we both enjoy it when we are in the mood, which for me is often shortly after my cup of coffee in the morning, and for her after she comes back from jogging.

Don't spread false information about peoples lifestyles based on your ridiculous bias.

142 likes, 92 dislikes
Posted by timber on 05/02/2016 at 5:00 AM

Re: “What Are the Long-Term Effects of Anal Sex?

No, orgasms by anal sex are NOT normal anatomically or otherwise. The anus is an exit for the body to eject it's waste products. The fact there are nerves nearby is complete happenstance.

The male penis is designed (evolved) to go one place and that is the female vagina. PERIOD. Anything else is unnatural. End of story. The fact that the homosexual movement and the porn industry has normalized this decidedly unhealthy behavior doesn't make it good for you or acceptable to do.

I am so sick and tired of reading people like you who are promoting something that TEARS THE ANUS WALLS EVERY SINGLE TIME it's performed. EVERY SINGLE TIME. These tears are then open to all the bacteria the anus naturally has. People somehow don't link their bad overall healthy to this. Let's not even talk about the long term effects of anal sex which loosens the anus over time making late life miserable.

206 likes, 271 dislikes
Posted by John Hammerdink on 03/11/2016 at 2:24 PM

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