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If you're looking for "I Spys," dating or LTRs, this is your scene.
If you're looking for full-on kink or group play, you'll get what you need here.
Even though this article is satirical in nature (I hope), well written, and cute, it is terribly dangerous to the future of our planet!
Let me explain. Promoting Bud, PBR, Miller, Gansett or any other chemically induced swill as beer is not only disgusting, it's unconscionable, immoral, outrageous, criminal, and detrimental to the well being of our beautiful planet. These liquids are not beer (and should never be called beer) ! They are chemically altered cesspool water mixed with rice and corn, and marketed as beer. Drinking any of them permanently destroys one's mind and body. It makes the individual who drinks one a corporate marketing slave who will do anything the United Corporations of America (UCA) tells them to.
To the few world inhabitants lucky enough to still possess some unaltered brain cells, it's clearly obvious the negative effects several billion gallons of this chemical swill has had on our planet. It has systematically removed from the human race the capacity to respect and protect our environment. We have become a planet of brain dead marketing sheep that will destroy everything in our path in order to satisfy our corporate gods.
We tend to focus on the million symptoms that ail our planet, yet are blind the the root cause. It's BUDWEISER folks! Open your f'n eyes for christ sake!
Do the world a favor Dan Bolles. Please refrain from aiding in the destruction of our planet by promoting corporate poison!
C. Anonymous. A proud but sad earthling
P.S. Budweiser is NOT American!
It is owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev (Dutch pronunciation: [ˈɑnɦɔjzər ˈbuʃ ˈɪmbɛf], abbreviated as AB InBev) is a Belgian-Brazilian multinational beverage and brewing company headquartered in Leuven, Belgium. It is the world's largest brewer and had a 25 percent global market share.
AB InBev has 17 brands that individually generate over 1 billion USD per year in revenue out of a portfolio of more than 200 brands (2013). This portfolio includes global brands Budweiser, Corona and Stella Artois, international brands Beck's, Hoegaarden and Leffe and local champions such as Bud Light, Skol, Brahma, Antarctica, Quilmes, Victoria, Modelo Especial, Michelob Ultra, Harbin, Sedrin, Klinskoye, Sibirskaya Korona, Chernigivske and Jupiler. Total revenue for all 200 AB InBev brands in 2013 was over 43 billion USD.
Bud is not an American beer, it's a foreign-owned, Czech named product made with rice and corn, not true beer ingredients.
Last I checked, PBR is swill. Any Lite is an abomination.
Narraganset Porter used to be one of my favorites in the olden days, when you could buy a 6-pack of pint bar bottles for about $1.50.
Carling Black Label wasn't too bad for a cheap beer back in those days.
If you want some real, all-American beers, including ale, porter, and black & tan, look for Yuengling's. It's America's Oldest Brewery. Nothing fancy, but they don't have a poisonous aftertaste like the swill this article promotes, and you won't get a hangover from drinking just one (like a Michelob does for me).
Long ago my dad shared this piece of wisdom with me: De gustibus non est disputandum.
Everybody's tastes are different, there's no arguing over them.
However Bud and the like are not beer or ale by definition. Marketing is what sells them, not taste.
I grew up when these were the real thing. But the nostalgia angle doesn't work for me on these now. Unfortunately most of these are now owned by conglomerates and some of the original breweries have been closed for years. The original Pabst brewery in Milwaukee had an awesome tour which I took in the early eighties. Pabst was bought out in a hostile takeover in 1985. Miller was bought by the cigarette kings, Phillip Morris, in 1969. Miller High-Life was ruined soon after with a new process called "lightning aging", i.e. chemicals - which made more money for the corporation. Budweiser was taken over by the worlds largest brewing co., InBev, in 2008. You'll notice that "Lager Beer" no longer appears on Budweiser labels because it's more efficient (costs less) to make the beer in a shorter period of time. Lagering legally requires a minimum of 28 days. Good old Bud is no longer Good old Bud, it's only vaguely familiar to the original. The Narragansett brewery in Cranston, RI was closed in 1981 and has never reopened. Now, you're just buying an old familiar label and somebodies marketing campaign. BTW 'Gansett was sold by being the lowest price and a cute add campaign. Just really cheap beer and lousy quality. I went to school in Providence back in the day of the 18 yr old legal drinking age and Gansett was 15 cents a draft at my neighborhood bar and yet we all pretty much stayed away from it. It was so awful (Nastygansett) that if you had more than a few it would induce sever flu like symptoms (you had it coming coming out of both ends of your body). The best of the above were good light colored lager beers in their day. But most are not good honest beers any longer. For a nice lighter styled beer I like Trapps, an authentic Austrian style Lager. With their new brewery opening this year we'll be able to buy 6 packs at local stores. I think more local breweries will be offering more lighter styles of beer in addition to the robust and hoppy styles that dominate today.
Dan, totally get where you are going with this. I worked for a brewery. I also worked for a beer distributor and have been in the craft beer world for the better part of 12 years, since Stone Arrogant Bastard popped my craft beer cherry. But Bud? PBR? Coors Light? NO no my friend. No. Coors Banquet. The Banquet beer. Promoted by Mr. Sam Elliot himself. High country 3 row barley. No adjuncts. The Banquet beer. You can find my fridge stocked with Dog Fish Head, Victory, Stone, The Alchemist, Sierra Nevada, Founders and I wish, oh, I wish I still had access to Bells, Sun King, Three Floyds, Dark Horse, and a host of others, but, but, 2 12 pack cans of the high country banquet also have their rightful place.
The best reason to "hate" all the beers you mention is when you find out exactly what they use to make them. Bud (and PBR and I believe Coors and Miller) all use GMO corn. Don't know about you, but I choose NOT to have that crap in my food. (Thank God my state, VERMONT, just passed a law making labeling of food containing GMO maditory.)
Sure, they may taste great. But so do a number of things that are bad for you. Sorry, give me a Heady Topper any day. At least I KNOW what they put inside.
What, no malt liquors? Pfffttttt.....
A more compelling reason not to drink some of these beers is because you'd be putting money into the coffers of companies who actively try to push craft beer off shelves, not because of how they taste. In Florida: the Anheuser-Busch distributors' association made donations to politicians who in turn have introduced a bill that would quash the craft beer industry by putting unruly restrictions on small brewers' distribution and retail sales.
As for Gansett and PBR... they're very good representations of the style without that baggage!
Yay another article about beer.
Looks like coal-fired plant is mostly responsible for environmental mercury contamination. But most of all I think people are concerned about local dairy farm run-off. The article mentions about how certain areas of lake are now dead zones due to algae bloom. We see algae problem off and on at the lake. Should we not concerned about consuming local fish? People are not stupid. I love fishing, but all my fishes are going right back in the water.
Here's a map of mercury contamination in the U.S.
But, but, but...? A few years ago pregnant women were admonished to not eat fish from Lake Champlain. I would totally eat perch -- I grew up on a steady diet of crappy (perch sounds better!) caught by my grandparents in Tennessee. I agree with Chip, do a write up on "How Dirty is Lake Champlain, Really?"
this is hilarious and i can't agree more with these selections. I always tell people I drink PBR because it is simply delicious and one of the cheapest beers out there, and I could care less if I am considered a hipster for doing so. Personally I think that craft brews are way overrated and the whole obsession with taste blinds people to the fact that they're paying way too much for a small amount of beer. Heady topper is only popular because as a company they've managed to fabricate a demand by intentionally slowing supply, and plus if you don't finish a topper in 10 minutes it starts to taste horrible, and I mean horrible as in worse than any beer I can think of.
Bud is now owned by a European company. This Bud is for E.U.!
Here here! Although, I think Switchback is the Budweiser of VT and I mean that in a good way. It's ubiquitous, highly quaffable, and enjoys a refreshingly down-market niche. There are a lot of "Bud Guys" who would just as soon drink a Switchback, and that's pretty cool. It's reassuring to know that Switchback is usually on draught when the only other choices are beer styles so obscure that only Jack Black in High Fidelity could discuss them with the requisite amount of affectation.
The reason we don't eat more local salmon is because it's so rare that Atlantic salmon, Salmo salar, is not even listed on the Fish and Wildlife's water table for Lake Champlain. If you find yourself trying to sell one and get caught, you may end up like this guy: http://www.fieldandstream.com/blogs/field-notes/2011/08/illegally-caught-atlantic-salmon-snitches-angler-his-freezer
Farm-raised salmonids have very low survival rates: they can't spawn or adapt to river and lake conditions. That's why fishermen go right to the stocking areas just after stocking to catch them. Without removal of Vermont's roughly 1200 (mostly unused) dams, S. salar will remain landlocked, and rebound hardly an option. Most of the juveniles they release this year will just feed the non-natives.
The gaps in this article bummed me out the same way the bear hunting article from last summer (Seven Days), where the author mentions in a glib, almost giddy prose that it's legal to kill baby bears in Vermont without mentioning why that would not be a good idea.
Eat More Lamprey
Commercial fisherman are over fishing the Lake and rivers soon there will be no local fish to be caught by anyone .
Commercial fisherman are over fishing are Lake and soon there will be no local fish to eat. There needs to be a limit on what we catch. I weekend fish for fun and my supper and its not easy with the commercial fisherman out there
I think a great follow up story might be "How Dirty is Lake Champlain, Really?"