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Even though this article is satirical in nature (I hope), well written, and cute, it is terribly dangerous to the future of our planet!
Let me explain. Promoting Bud, PBR, Miller, Gansett or any other chemically induced swill as beer is not only disgusting, it's unconscionable, immoral, outrageous, criminal, and detrimental to the well being of our beautiful planet. These liquids are not beer (and should never be called beer) ! They are chemically altered cesspool water mixed with rice and corn, and marketed as beer. Drinking any of them permanently destroys one's mind and body. It makes the individual who drinks one a corporate marketing slave who will do anything the United Corporations of America (UCA) tells them to.
To the few world inhabitants lucky enough to still possess some unaltered brain cells, it's clearly obvious the negative effects several billion gallons of this chemical swill has had on our planet. It has systematically removed from the human race the capacity to respect and protect our environment. We have become a planet of brain dead marketing sheep that will destroy everything in our path in order to satisfy our corporate gods.
We tend to focus on the million symptoms that ail our planet, yet are blind the the root cause. It's BUDWEISER folks! Open your f'n eyes for christ sake!
Do the world a favor Dan Bolles. Please refrain from aiding in the destruction of our planet by promoting corporate poison!
C. Anonymous. A proud but sad earthling
P.S. Budweiser is NOT American!
It is owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev (Dutch pronunciation: [ˈɑnɦɔjzər ˈbuʃ ˈɪmbɛf], abbreviated as AB InBev) is a Belgian-Brazilian multinational beverage and brewing company headquartered in Leuven, Belgium. It is the world's largest brewer and had a 25 percent global market share.
AB InBev has 17 brands that individually generate over 1 billion USD per year in revenue out of a portfolio of more than 200 brands (2013). This portfolio includes global brands Budweiser, Corona and Stella Artois, international brands Beck's, Hoegaarden and Leffe and local champions such as Bud Light, Skol, Brahma, Antarctica, Quilmes, Victoria, Modelo Especial, Michelob Ultra, Harbin, Sedrin, Klinskoye, Sibirskaya Korona, Chernigivske and Jupiler. Total revenue for all 200 AB InBev brands in 2013 was over 43 billion USD.