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Bad Cats, Bad! 

Some email scorn from the UVM administration:

This weekend has been called by some Burlington residents "the worst ever" in terms of noise, public drunkenness, etc. An e-mail to me highlighted that the behavior this past weekend "disturbed families with young children; working people; and elderly folks. And, in some cases has caused issues for off-campus students who have had groups of people they do not know and have not invited to their homes trying to enter or hanging out outside drawing the attention of neighbors and police."

Citations and tickets for public urination, noise ordinance violation, minors in possession, furnishing for minors, disorderly conduct etc. are no joke at all and besides draining your pockets will remain on your permanent record. I know several people who have experienced this and it's sad to think of something like that defining your time at UVM.

A new semester at the Universitas Viridis Montis wouldn't be complete without an email relaying B-Town's horror at the spectacle of prides of thirsty Catamounts descending from the top of the hill. The same "we had no idea this was coming and now we're totally shocked" attitude from University and City officials is a staple of these electronic scoldings.

But the big Burlington and UVM boss dogs aren't the only ones who experience annual amnesia in this regard. Over the summer, party-hungry Cats consistently forget what to do when a burgeoning Burlington bash gets busted by the bad boys in blue.

Some tips (2012, listen up):

1 - Do. Not. Freak. Out. There's a reason this is at the top of the list. All too often, an early-semester off-campus rager actually gets exacerbated when the po-9 arrive. Amidst the incomprehensible roar of voices comes "Cops!" The birdcall spreads like wildfire: "Cops! Cops!" Before you know it, a stampede ensues. People are running to the back doors, jumping fences, bolting to the basement, trampling over passed-out girls, hiding under tables, breaking shit... Not necessary. If you don't live at the house and you're not completely shit-wasted, just wait patiently. In a few minutes, the po po will ask you to leave, go home, and be quiet. No names, no numbers, no nuffin.

2 - Don't say "Shhh!" I hope this dumb phenomenon is not unique to UVM. When the police arrive, it's because the party is too loud. Cops may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but they're not going to be fooled if a 10-alarm rager suddenly goes silent. And besides, when everyone starts yelling "shh," the house doesn't get just sounds like there's a serious gas leak coming from everywhere at once. And that sucks. Same goes for turning off all the lights. Just keep your voice down and be patient (see tip 1).

3 - Drop your damn drink.  There's always someone at a busted off-campus party who can't bear to part  with his or her drink and absolutely must smuggle it out of the house, past the watchful eyes of the 5-0. Don't do it. Not only will you look like a total tool, but you'll probably get caught and get slapped with an open container violation ($50) or an underage possession violation ($200-$300). BPD like to shine flashlights on the exit parade, so anything you're concealing will be quite illuminated. Besides, how badly do you need that half-finished Natty Ice?

Being at a busted party is annoying, but it's not the end of the world. Although the semesterly "you guys are so bad when you go off-campus" email is unavoidable, getting stuck at a busted party is not. Underclassmen: don't travel in groups over ten (five is really best), don't go into a party that's already overflowing onto the street, and avoid ragers on main roads (South Union, Pearl, College, etc). And be nice to our townie neighbors...

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