Pin It
Favorite

Bi the Way 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

I’m bisexual, but I didn’t admit it or act on any of my homosexual desires before getting married to a woman. She knows I’m bi now and is fine with it, as long as I’m monogamous. I love my wife, but it does bother me sometimes that I never tried out a gay relationship. Should I just ignore this feeling, or will it lead to disaster later on? She really does try to meet me halfway (gay porn, open dialogue about it). Am I being stupid worrying about what I haven’t gotten to try?

Signed,

Married Bi

Dear Married Bi,

I have so many questions. You say your wife is “fine with it,” but how did that conversation go? Was she upset that you weren’t truthful before you got hitched? I, for one, would be pissed — not because I’m opposed to being in a long-term relationship with someone who’s bisexual, but because that information seems crucial to know before I do that whole “’til death do us part” thing.

I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you, Married Bi — I see troubled waters ahead if you continue to deny yourself. Some proponents of monogamy may strongly disagree with me, but I don’t think it’s healthy to suppress sexual desires — homosexual or otherwise — for the sake of your marriage. All that pent up desire will likely cause serious resentments in you and your partner, causing the “disaster” you reference in your letter.

All is not lost, Married Bi. I’m encouraged that you’re having open dialogue and negotiating gay porn with your lady. If your wife is accepting of your sexuality, perhaps she’d be amenable to an open relationship? Google “ethical non-monogamy” and do some research — it can be done, and it may be the only way for you to maintain your marriage in an honest, authentic way.

Bi the way,

mm


Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It
Favorite

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Bio:
Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Social Club

Like Seven Days contests and events? Join the club!

See an example of this newsletter...

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
e-newsletters:

All content © 2016 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So Champlain St Ste 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation