I’ve never considered myself to have a breast fetish, but I’ve discovered that I love suckling on my wife’s breasts. It’s more than just a little foreplay; it’s often more like simulated breast-feeding. The context of the suckling is often, though not always, sexual, and the experience is powerful. I love it, and she is more than happy to oblige, but I have concerns about its effect on our relationship. Outside of this activity, we have a well-balanced relationship — but I know how I feel sucking on her breasts, and know she experiences similar feelings, though from the other perspective. Can we incorporate such a behavior into a balanced adult relationship?
You are not alone in your appetite for simulated breast-feeding. For some men (and women) the act of suckling brings them back to the halcyon days of childhood when breasts provided all the comfort and sustenance needed to thrive. As an adult living in a harsh world of sharp edges and cold realities, your wife’s round, warm breasts act as the ultimate pacifier. As long as she’s cool with playing wet nurse, why not indulge?
You aren’t specific in your letter, but it sounds like you’re worried that playing the role of “suckling man-child” is going to throw off your healthy power balance by making you appear small, weak and needy. It’s a catch-22 because that power imbalance — being vulnerable in your wife’s arms while she takes care of you — is precisely what’s so titillating.
As mature, consenting adults, you can incorporate most any sexual behavior into a balanced relationship — but it will require communication. Share your concerns with your wife. Let her know that while you love latching on to her bosom, you’re worried that it will adversely affect your dynamic. You may find that she relishes the opportunity to take care of you but still looks to you to be her big, hulking man who opens pickle jars and takes out the trash. Having a “healthy, balanced relationship” doesn’t necessarily mean equality in the bedroom — sometimes a shift toward the dominant/submissive dynamic is exactly what a relationship needs to find its symmetry.
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