Dear Mistress Maeve,
I've been having a covert love affair -with my vibrator.
I use it pretty much every day, sometimes two or three times a day on the weekends. While I recharge the batteries, I can't help but wonder - will I wear out my batteries?
Some of my friends say that using a vibrator so frequently will make me lose sensation down there, or make it really hard to get off with a partner. I have noticed that the more I use it, the longer it takes each time. I don't want to have to keep upgrading, and I definitely do not want to end this extremely satisfying affair. Is it true that pleasing myself will make me harder to please? Please help!
Dear F.-G. F.,
The greatest invention of all time is the vibrator. Forget about Edison and Tesla's electrical grid and Gutenberg's printing press - when George Taylor invented the steam-powered vibrating device in the 1800s, he catapulted himself into my top spot (literally).
Taylor, a physician, used his vibrator as a device to cure women's hysteria. While the technique may have been crude and sexist, I'm sure his primitive vibrator did relieve tension in his female patients- and didn't desensitize any of them.
The idea that frequent masturbating can cause desensitization of the clitoris and genitals is pure fiction. In fact, spending quality time with your body, discovering how it works and what gets you off, will only make sex with a partner that much more pleasurable for you both.
It's probably taking you longer to get off because you're concentrating on how long it's taking you, rather than on how good it feels. Just relax and enjoy your vibrator. You'll know when it's time to give your battery-operated partner a rest and enjoy the intimacy and touch you can only get from another person.
Buzzing with excitement,