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Cut to the Quick 

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My wife and I have been married for a good long while now, and the sex is and has always been great. But lately it seems like my stamina ... well, that my stamina is not so great. I suppose, like any guy, there have always been times when I was a little quick to orgasm, but this is depressing. My wife hasn't mentioned it as a problem (we just improvise), but I feel like my body is robbing me of most of the fun.

What's a guy to do?

Cut to the Quick


Dear Quick,

Most men will experience periods of rapid ejaculation during their sexual lifetimes, so don't worry — you're not broken, and you will likely get your old groove back.

In the meantime, the key is not letting a few misfires spiral into more anxiety-ridden performance issues. You seem to be open to communicating about the issue and to have a supportive partner, so why not get her involved? When you're having intercourse and feel yourself about to climax, pull out and pay your partner some attention until your urge to release subsides. Repeat this exercise until you're both satisfied — it'll add excitement to your normal routine, and you will train your body to rebuild its stamina. You might also try wearing a condom to prolong your love making. Some men report that condoms specifically made for anal sex are thicker and more durable, reducing sensation just enough to make you last longer.

One final note: Stay away from desensitizing creams. They're made with anesthetic and can easily transfer to your wife's vulva. I'd rather run a fully pleasurable, all-natural sprint than a lackluster, artificially induced marathon.

Long-lasting love,

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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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