Im only 21, and I know being a virgin is not a big deal. I know I shouldnt be in a great big hurry to have sex. But the thing is, I think I want to. Im really curious, not to mention horny. Sometimes I kind of want to get the whole virginity thing out of the way. I have fantasies all the time, and trying to satisfy myself just isnt cutting it. But other times, I know that if I just have sex with the first guy I meet, I may end up regretting it. Plus, if I do end up going to bed with someone, Id feel sort of nervous revealing that Im a virgin. Please help.
Curious but Confused
Dear C but C,
Being anxious to lose your virginity is completely natural sex can be fun, exciting and empowering. That said, just because youre curious doesnt mean you have to rush. If youre patient, it will happen when the time is right. Keep in mind, having sex for the first time can be awkward, clumsy and emotional you dont want to give it up to just anyone.
The best-case scenario is having your cherry popped by a trusted friend or love interest with more sexual experience than you. Hell be able to educate you while being patient about your first-time fumbling. To that end, its important for you to disclose your virgin status. Sex is best when both partners are open and honest. Plus, taking someones V-card is kind of a big deal; he should have all the info before hopping into bed with you. And when the big moment arrives, use protection. You dont get a pass on sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancies just because its your first time.
One last thing: You say trying to satisfy yourself isnt cutting it. Are you able to bring yourself to orgasm? If not, embark on a journey of self-exploration I assure you, your first time with a partner will be much more satisfying if you can show him what gets you off. If going solo isnt working for you, go online and order one or two sex toys that appeal to you. Masturbation should be fun and exploratory and it might help keep the urges at bay until you find the ideal partner.
In virgin territory,
Fill out my online form.