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I Want to Pee on My Girlfriend 

Dear Athena,

I want to pee on my girlfriend when we are getting ready to have sex, and I am afraid of asking her if she would be into it. First of all, is it weird that I want to do that? I've never done it before, and I don't know why I want to do it — but I do. Also, what if she doesn't want to or she hates me because I suggested it?

Signed,

Eager to Pee

Dear Eager to Pee,

What you're describing is called urolagnia — a fancy name for a golden shower. Basically, it's a form of sexual excitement associated with urine or urination. You aren't weird, bad or crazy for having this sexual urge to pee. In fact, it's more common than you think.

Where does this arousal come from? Where do all fetishes come from? A past experience, a natural inclination ... who knows? Fetishes are normal and OK, and you shouldn't be concerned or ashamed unless your sexual interests could cause harm to yourself or others.

Some suggest that golden showers are a form of domination. Playing the role of submissive or dominator in the sack is common. Fantasies like this are really about partners exploring and enjoying each other in an exciting — but still safe and responsible — way.

Still, your girlfriend might not go for it; she might even be appalled. You need to decide if you're willing to take that risk. Be prepared for a "no" and some questions, at least. But having a healthy relationship includes being yourself, sharing your needs and disclosing your deepest desires.

Your girlfriend shouldn't hate you for suggesting it — sexual curiosity is understandable, and I bet she's got a fantasy or two of her own. But if this does somehow damage your relationship, she's clearly not the right woman for you.

If she is down for a little tinkle action and you're both feeling comfortable with it, unzip that fly and relieve yourself. But maybe do it in the shower so you'll have less cleanup.

Yours,

Athena

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