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Curses, Foiled Again

Authorities who arrived at a Chicago apartment to arrest Ronald “Boobie” McIntyre, 35, for unpaid child support said he tried to evade them by jumping from a third-story window onto what appeared to be grass but turned out to be artificial turf covering concrete. Even though McIntyre broke both legs, Cook County sheriff’s deputies said he continued his escape by crawling until they arrested him. (Chicago Sun-Times)

When Nathan Wayne Pugh, 49, showed a Dallas bank teller a note demanding money and warning that he had a “bom,” the teller told Pugh she needed to see some identification before giving him any money. He presented his bank debit card. When she asked how much he wanted, he answered “two thousand,” so she asked for further identification. Pugh handed her his Texas ID card. She pressed the alarm button while informing him she had only $900 in her cash drawer and would get the rest from the vault. He said he’d settle for the $900, which he took, along with his debit card and ID.

As he turned to flee, Pugh noticed uniformed police officers at the bank entrance, so he grabbed a woman holding a baby, apparently to use as a hostage, according to FBI agent Mark White, who reported the woman wrestled Pugh to the ground. Officers rushed over and arrested him. (Dallas Morning News) Mindless Decisions

Humans are as easily duped as brainless slime mold, according to Australian researchers who experimented with decision making in the single-cell, amoeba-like Physarum polycephalum. Presented with two food choices, one containing 3 percent oatmeal in a dark setting or 5 percent oatmeal in a bright setting, the slime, which favors dark over light, showed no food preference. When Tanya Latty and Madeleine Beekman of the University of Sydney added a third food source that was clearly inferior, containing only 1 percent oatmeal in a dark environment, 80 percent of the slime suddenly favored the 3 percent oatmeal in darkness. Latty and Beekman noted this style of decision-making, called “comparative valuation,” is common among humans, who might, for example, choose a cheaper version of a product over a costlier version, until a third, much more expensive version is introduced, prompting their decision to buy the previously costlier version, believing it now to be a bargain. (Discover Magazine)

Chimney Sweeping

Three days after Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, was reported missing in Bakersfield, Calif., her badly decomposed body was found in the chimney of the house of a man with whom she had an on-and-off relationship. Police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said Kotarac had gone to the house and tried to force her way inside with a shovel, but the homeowner left unnoticed “to avoid a confrontation.” Investigators concluded from the evidence that Kotarac climbed a ladder to the roof, removed the chimney cap and slid down the flue feet first until she became stuck wedged about two feet above the top of the interior fireplace opening. A house sitter discovered the body, which firefighters spent five hours dismantling the chimney and flue from outside the home to recover. (Bakersfield Californian)

Police reported that Kevin Michael Harley, 23, tried to break into a restaurant in North Charleston, S.C., but got trapped in the grease vent he was using to enter the building. He was rescued six hours later when an employee heard his cries for help and called police. They found Harley stuck vertically in the vent and noted he was wearing socks on his hands to avoid leaving fingerprints. (Charleston’s Post and Courier)

Anti-Social Networking

Roy Williams, 46, set up a Facebook account using the fake name of John Smith to befriend his ex-girlfriend, Traci Dishman, 41. Three days after they met online, she agreed to go on a date with him and met him at an apartment building, where, according to prosecutors in Lincoln, Neb., she started up the stairs and was shot three times. Williams pleaded no contest to attempted murder. (Nebraska’s York News-Times)

Nearly a third of the teenagers on Facebook are ready to unfriend their parents for nagging chats and clueless comments, left mostly by mothers, on their children’s online profiles, according to an AOL study. “The moms like to overshare about things like menopause that their kids want nothing to do with or know anything about,” said Jeanne Leitenberg, 27, who launched a website called “Oh Crap! My Parents Joined Facebook” with Erika Brooks Adickman, 28, who observed that mothers tend to use Facebook “as a way to reattach the umbilical cord.” (Los Angeles Times)

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Roland Sweet

Bio:
Roland Sweet is the author of the syndicated column "News Quirks," which appears weekly in Seven Days.

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