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Curses, Foiled Again

While a sheriff’s deputy was giving Louis Cruz, 55, a sobriety test after stopping him for driving erratically in Okaloosa County, Fla., Cruz suggested that a “bad foot” might be affecting his response to the test. When he leaned down to show the deputy the foot, he accidentally revealed an ankle holster. Lacking a permit to carry a concealed weapon, Cruz was arrested. (Northwest Florida Daily News)

A state trooper who noticed Sean Schmidt, 20, standing with his upper body sticking out of the sunroof of a vehicle on a Buffalo, N.Y., highway activated his lights to pull over the vehicle. The trooper reported that Schmidt then tried to throw away a small bag of marijuana, but it landed on the hood of the trooper’s car, providing evidence the trooper needed to ticket Schmidt for marijuana possession in addition to not wearing a seatbelt. (Associated Press)

Opposable-Thumb Follies

The first case of texting impairment caused by Botox has been reported by the journal Archives of Dermatology. A study by Julia Lehman of Minnesota’s Mayo Clinic recounts how she treated a 17-year-old girl for excessive sweating by giving her Botox injections. The patient complained afterward that the treatments controlled the sweating but slowed her texting speed. The impairment lasted for six weeks after the injection. Lehman said the case “shows the importance of thinking about modern-day activities and how our treatments could potentially impair some of these modern-day activities such as texting.” (Reuters)

When Guns Are Outlawed

Toronto police said they were looking for a woman who boarded a streetcar with a child in a stroller and began arguing with another passenger. Witnesses said the woman picked up the child and used it as a weapon to beat the passenger. Mother and child got off the streetcar before police arrived. (Toronto Star)

HOV-Lane Eligibility Follies

Texas authorities accused drunk-driving suspect James Onak, 49, of running into a stranded motorist crossing a Houston freeway and sending his body crashing through Onak’s windshield. Onak then drove three miles with the body of Fadel Steadman, 32, next to him. A deputy constable who stopped Onak after observing him driving with no lights and a shattered front windshield, spotted the body in the passenger seat, partially underneath the dashboard, with a severed leg. Investigators later found the victim’s leg and Onak’s license plate on the highway. Onak insisted he never noticed a dead body in the seat next to him. (Houston Chronicle)

Petty Cash

Defense Department officials said they cannot account for $6.6 billion in cash that was supposed to be used for the reconstruction of Iraq. The money was part of a shipment of $12 billion, mostly $100 bills packed in shrink-wrap and airlifted to Iraq between March 2003 and May 2004. The Bush administration determined the vast cash influx was desperately needed to restore government services and give Iraqis confidence that post-U.S. invasion Iraq would be a big improvement over Iraq under Saddam Hussein. Federal auditors suggested some or all of the cash might have been stolen, some by U.S. contractors for kickbacks and bribes during the chaotic postinvasion period but most by corrupt Iraqi officials. Stuart Brown, special inspector general for Iraq reconstruction called the loss “the largest theft of funds in national history.” (Los Angeles Times)

Honesty Unrewarded

When Robert Adams, 54, found a Chase Bank bag containing $17,000 in cash near an ATM in Midlothian, Ill., he drove to another Chicago suburb and turned it in at a Chase Bank there, telling Rolling Meadows police investigating the incident that he found the money outside a newspaper stand near the bank. When they reviewed surveillance video and spotted Adams finding the money in Midlothian, he said he felt more comfortable turning it in in Rolling Meadows and reporting it to police there. Explaining it was a hot day and he just wanted to get home, he said, “I wasn’t looking for a reward.” Besides getting no reward, he was fined $500 for filing a false report. (Chicago Tribune)

Government-Run Medical Care

The Department of Veterans Affairs agreed to pay $925,000 to Jose Goncalves, 60, whose eyeball exploded during routine outpatient cataract surgery at a VA hospital in West Haven, Conn. Goncalves was blinded when, his lawyer said, a third-year resident incorrectly placed a needle with a local anesthetic “directly into Jose’s eye instead of behind the eye as was proper. Then, failing to recognize her error, she proceeded to inject so much anesthetic, so quickly, that Jose’s eye literally exploded.” (Connecticut Post)

It Happened

Archaeologists looking in an ancient sewer beneath Herculaneum announced discovery of the largest deposit of human excrement ever found in the Roman world: enough to fill 750 sacks. (BBC News)

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About The Author

Roland Sweet

Bio:
Roland Sweet is the author of the syndicated column "News Quirks," which appears weekly in Seven Days.

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