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Wearable Food or Edible Footwear

Police who arrested Rachel Gossett and Frank Lucas for having sex in a Waffle House parking lot in Loganville, Ga., said the woman was so drunk that when she “finally got dressed she attempted to put a cheeseburger on her foot as if it were a sandal.” (Huffington Post)

Wrong Arm of the Law

A 51-year-old police sergeant in Tokyo came under investigation after he tried to catch a bicycle thief by staking out a decoy bike. After camping out nine times, the sergeant at Denchoufu police station failed to make a single arrest. Meanwhile, while he was focused on the decoy, three more bicycles were stolen. (Japan Today)

Avoirdupois Follies

Frenchman Kevin Chenais, 22, who weighs 500 pounds, was stranded in the United States after being denied a seat on his flight home because British Airways officials said he was too heavy. He tried to sail home, but the owners of the cruise ship Queen Mary 2 denied him passage. Chenais finally made it to London’s Heathrow airport when Virgin Atlantic agreed to fly him from New York at no charge, but when he tried to take the Eurostar cross-channel train home, officials refused to let him board. (Agence France-Presse)

Some soldiers are resorting to liposuction because they’re worried about passing the Defense Department’s body-fat test. It relies on neck and waist measurements and can determine soliders’ military futures. The number of Army soldiers discharged for being overweight has jumped tenfold in the past five years to 1815 last year. Service members who opt for liposuction have to pay for the procedure themselves. Dr. Michael Pasquale of Aloha Plastic Surgery in Honolulu said his military clientele has jumped by 30 percent since 2011, noting, “They have to worry about their careers.” (Associated Press)

Homeland Insecurity

After a man brought a Thermos-type container that he said he found on his lawn to a police station in Oklahoma City, officers told the man to leave the device outside and then called the bomb squad. X-rays revealed the device contained a burrito, according to Capt. Dexter Nelson, who recommended that people who find suspicious items not take them to police stations: “Call the authorities, and we will investigate it there.” (Oklahoma City’s Oklahoman)

Virginia state police compiled license plate numbers of millions of cars at political events, including rallies for President Obama and Sarah Palin in 2008 and Obama’s 2009 presidential inauguration, according to documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union under the state’s Freedom of Information Act. After the ACLU charged that this data collection violated attendees’ First Amendment rights, state police official Corinne Geller said the practice was necessary for public safety. “It’s not unusual for a stolen vehicle to be used as a car bomb or as some way to infiltrate,” Geller explained. (Washington Times)

It Happens

The Food and Drug Administration lifted restrictions on fecal transplants after pooh-poohing them for years. The treatment attacks the intestinal bug Clostridium difficile, which can flourish when a person’s natural intestinal bacteria are diminished, most often by antibiotics, and can cause relentless diarrhea. The procedure, introduced in 2005 and technically known as a fecal microbiota transplant (FMT), involves giving fecal matter from a donor to a recipient via colonoscopy. Acknowledging there’s a “yuk” factor, Dr. Francis Riedo, an infectious disease specialist at EvergreenHealth in Kirkland, Wash., said that by the time patients come to see him, they’re “so miserable, so desperate, they would try anything.” (Seattle Times)

Things That Go Kaboom

Police investigating the explosion of an unoccupied truck in Los Angeles learned that it was sparked by a man trying to get high on propane. The driver, who showed up at a police station hours after the blast with a burned scalp and face, explained that he was inhaling propane in the cab and tried to charge his cellphone by plugging the charger into the truck’s auxiliary outlet, creating a spark that ignited the gas. The dazed man wandered away from the truck before police arrived, according to police Sgt. Glenn McNeil, who called him “the luckiest guy in the world.” (Los Angeles Times)

Sex Is Its Own Punishment

Washington state psychologist Sunil Kakar, 46, was suspended after he admitted giving a prostitute his laptop as collateral while he went to an ATM to get cash to pay her. He returned to find the woman had left with the computer, which contained personal and health information of his 652 clients. Police recovered the laptop from a pawnshop, but by then the Department of Health had had to refer Kakar’s clients to new providers. (Seattle Times)

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Roland Sweet

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Roland Sweet is the author of the syndicated column "News Quirks," which appears weekly in Seven Days.

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