From the Bureau of Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?:
According to Front Porch Forum, there's a cat nabber on the loose (pussy pillager, perhaps?) in the Old North End. Read on to hear the tragic tale of Beansie, stolen right out of his own yard.
SEEKING FLUFFY ORANGE CAT STOLEN BY WOMAN IN PINK
Wed, 15 September 2010
Please post in all forums except ONE West
Around 1:30 Tuesday afternoon, Sept 14th, a woman wearing a pink sweatsuit was seen entering my yard and stealing my large, soft, long-haired orange cat, who tried to resist. The woman was then seen trotting down Blodgett Street to North Street carrying my kitty. She is identified as white, approximately 5'5" tall with brownish hair, stocky build, wearing pink sweats. My kitty, Beansie, is 6-years old, may have some Maine Coon cat in him and weighs about 14 lbs.
There's a $200 reward for information leading to the safe return of my beloved cat.
Please spread the word! Thank you!!! And thanks to all my wonderful neighbors who are helping!
First, let's talk about how it's sort of amazing that this woman in the pink sweatsuit could jog down the block carrying a 14-pound cat. I couldn't jog down the block without or without a squirming cat. Second, let's talk about how Beansie put up a fight. Good for him. I hope he scratched the crap out of the pink sweatsuit lady. Meow!
If anyone has any info about Beansie or the thief, contact FPF at firstname.lastname@example.org or the Burlington Police Department at 658-2704.
UPDATE, 9/17: We've received word that Beanzie the cat has come back.
BEANZIE appeared on my doorstep this morning and seems fine overall, slightly stressed, but very happy to be home after his ordeal. We figure he either escaped or was let go by the woman who took him after a high profile neighborhood effort to find him.
Thank you to all who sent good vibes and/or lent a hand in the search for Beanzie!
Thank you Front Porch Forum for providing the means to get word out fast. And extra special thanks for the incredible outpouring of support and help from friends and neighbors on Blodgett, North, Pitkin, and Strong Street, my incredible and dedicated co-workers at Champlain Housing Trust, and the many small businesses on North Street who will be getting more of my patronage in the future!
p.s. Many thanks to the Burlington Police Department, and especially Officer Navari, who showed compassion and diligence while investigating a few leads to try to find the Cat Burglar in the North Street area. Beanzie and I are very grateful!
Oh happy day!
Fred J Abrahams: Albeit a well written story, I didn't see a dateline which would have helped me place the story…
Christopher M. Hayden: sevendaysvt is a lefty mouthpiece and propaganda asset of the local lefty government and it is for this…
Rich ard: Great format for recapping the year . Well done . Happy New Year .
Shelly Stow: Sheriff Marcoux deserves kudos at every level, and Mr. Szad does the same. The factors most associated with…
Christopher M. Hayden: The ghosts of Wayne Brunette and Phil Grenin howl in the cold winter winds as they blow through…