Thinking Threesome 

Dear Mistress,

Twenty-eight-year-old male here with a problem. A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with my girlfriend and her best friend at the friend’s apartment. I’ve known both women for five years (though I’ve only been dating my girlfriend for three of those years). We got pretty drunk, and I ended up having sex with the best friend while my girlfriend watched and masturbated. It was my girlfriend’s idea, and there hasn’t been much fallout (we’ve hung out since, and it’s been cool).

The thing is, now when I have sex with my girlfriend I can only orgasm by thinking about sex with her best friend. I’ve got a feeling this is a problem. It feels like cheating. Help?

Signed,

Her Best Friend’s Petting

Dear Petting,

So, let me get this straight: You felt fine about having sex with your girlfriend’s best friend while your girlfriend watched, but getting off on it later feels like cheating? The reality is that we all fantasize, and it’s completely normal to think about having sex with others while in bed with a partner. It sounds like you had one of the hottest nights of your life; frankly, I’d be more surprised if you weren’t thinking about it every time you had sex.

That said, if your feelings for the best friend turn from lustful to lovesick, you may have a larger dilemma. I advise taking some time to evaluate your feelings. Are you recalling the interlude every time you orgasm because it gets you off or because you’re falling for the friend? If it’s the latter, you’ve got some serious thinking to do about your current relationship (and stay away from the friend while you sort it out).

Assuming you’re not head-over-heels in love with your girl’s BFF, you’ve got nothing to worry about. It’s only been a few weeks since your friendly three-way, so stop worrying about the lingering fantasy and enjoy it. Besides, with an adventurous girlfriend like yours, it shouldn’t be too long until you set sail on another voyeuristic voyage to fuel more fantasies.

Bon Voyage,

mm

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