Pin It
Favorite

Too Square to Slut 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

I am a healthy, fit and attractive woman in my late 20s. I have a super-high sex drive. The problem is, when I don’t have a boyfriend, I have zero sex. I frequently wish I could detach from myself and explore more casual sex. I can’t seem to be intimate with someone who doesn’t seem interested in the long haul, though I would really, really like to. I can’t tell if it’s fear of rejection, lack of self confidence, or remnants of a super strict and religious upbringing. Any advice on how to lose these inhibitions and take care of business?

Signed,

Too Square to Slut

Dear Too Square,

Have you watched television lately? If you believe what you see on new shows such as “Girls” on HBO, casual sex is requisite for women in their 20s. You nailed it with your sign-off: If you’re not getting it on with every Tom, Dick or Harry, you’re a square.

Of course, this isn’t true. Far be it from me to put down casual sex (one of my favorite past times), but it’s not for everyone. Maybe you’re a happier person when you’re not sleeping around, and that’s OK.

That said, if you’re committed to a casual conquest, here’s a word to remember: honesty. You need to be real with yourself. Can you handle a casual relationship? Play the scenario out in your head. You have sex with a guy and don’t get brunch in the morning — hell, he might not even spend the night. How does that make you feel? As long as you’re OK with it, and he’s on the same page, go for it.

You may want to be a voracious vamp, but don’t force it. Remember, just because you’re not having sex with a partner doesn’t mean you can’t have exciting, mind-blowing orgasms. When was the last time you tried a new position while masturbating? Bought a new sex toy? Spent an hour revving yourself up watching porn or reading erotica before getting yourself off? The most important sexual relationship you have is with yourself — be a good partner and keep things spicy.

TCB,

mm


Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It
Favorite

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Bio:
Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Social Club

Like Seven Days contests and events? Join the club!

See an example of this newsletter...

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
e-newsletters:

All content © 2016 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So Champlain St Ste 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation