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Whimsy

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Inside Vermont's First Target Store

Posted By on Tue, Oct 16, 2018 at 9:10 PM

Target storefront - JORDAN ADAMS
  • Jordan Adams
  • Target storefront
Dreams do come true.

Finally, after months of anxious waiting, certain Vermonters were blessed with a preview of the new Target store at the University Mall in South Burlington. On Tuesday evening, a select group of media personalities and other individuals — let's call them "the Chosen Ones" — were invited to attend a special friends-and-family early-access event to bask in the glory of all that is Target.

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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Cannabis
Holiday Stash: A Cannabis Gift Guide

Posted By on Tue, Dec 5, 2017 at 3:24 PM

Mary, Mary Patch - BAD LUCK GOODS
  • Bad Luck Goods
  • Mary, Mary Patch
The recreational use of cannabis is yet to be fully legalized in the great state of Vermont. But plenty of locals still partake, including a growing number of medical cannabis users who do so legally. And that's to say nothing of industrial hemp — that's cannabis low in THC — which is increasingly harvested for its cannabidiol, aka CBD.  CBD is extracted in oil and added to lotions, salves, chocolates and oil-based pills of all sorts. It's an easy, plant-based way to mellow out after a long day — especially before the parade of anxiety-inducing holiday parties and family events .

With that in mind, we've put together a little gift list of seven CBD and THC-related goodies for you and your loved ones this year.

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Sunday, October 1, 2017

Every Dog Has Its Day at the Winooski Farmers Market

Posted By on Sun, Oct 1, 2017 at 4:38 PM

Winning dogs pose with their humans. - SADIE WILLIAMS
  • Sadie Williams
  • Winning dogs pose with their humans.
The Winooski Farmers Market was overrun by a horde of dogs this morning. Forty canines gathered with their humans to compete in the first-ever Best Pooch in the 'Noosk, an informal dog show organized by Downtown Winooski.

The event was hosted by Emmy Award-winning WCAX anchor Darren Perron, who energetically described each contestant as he or she trotted down the makeshift runway cordoned off in the middle of the market. The doggie destination was a tent that sheltered the four judges from the midday sun.

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Sunday, March 19, 2017

A Hirsute Pursuit for Make-A-Wish Vermont

Posted By on Sun, Mar 19, 2017 at 2:50 PM

Vermont Beardies contestants at ArtsRiot in Burlington - SADIE WILLIAMS
  • Sadie Williams
  • Vermont Beardies contestants at ArtsRiot in Burlington
Last night, ArtsRiot in Burlington was packed — with beards. It was the first annual Vermont Beardies competition, in which participants raised money for Make-A-Wish Vermont by showing off their luxurious facial locks.

The event itself was an informal affair. Contestants had about an hour to display their fuzzy features for the judges, who included Jonathan Goldsmith, the former "Most Interesting Man in the World" from the Dos Equis ad campaign.  Goldsmith and ArtsRiot employee Ben Rutter were charged with collecting the funniest — or most poignant — beard-related stories. At another judging table, Wish Kid Noah Cohen evaluated beards based on how many plastic clothespins they could hold.

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Monday, November 21, 2016

Joke of the Week: The Name Game

Posted By on Mon, Nov 21, 2016 at 9:15 AM

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It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from South Montpelier's Sky Sandoval. Take it away, Sky …

So, my name is Sky. I have two half-sisters, and my half-sisters' names are: Star … and Jennifer.

It’s an interesting choice on my dad’s part naming us Sky, Star and Jennifer. It makes me wonder what he’d be like if he were in charge of other things using that logic. I always like to imagine what it’d be like if he booked a music festival.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

World Gotcha Down? Go Nuzzle Molson the Dog

Posted By on Wed, Nov 16, 2016 at 4:25 PM

Molson the Dog - COURTESY OF STEPHANIE BERTONI
  • Courtesy of Stephanie Bertoni
  • Molson the Dog
If you've been by the top block of the Church Street Marketplace in Burlington recently, it's likely that you've encountered the sweet, fuzzy phenomenon that is Molson the Dog. And he probably made your day, because OHMIGOD, LOOK HOW FREAKING ADORABLE HE IS! WHOSAGOODBOY?!

Ahem…

Like the statue of Big Joe Burrell —  only much cuter and, despite his sleepy demeanor, not a statue — Molson has become a top-block fixture. So much so that a reader who works nearby recently alerted Seven Days to his all-consuming cuteness and suggested we write about him. Being the dedicated, hard-nosed journalists that we are, how could we refuse?

In the three months since his people, Annette Didrickson and Ric Crossman, opened the Vintage Photography Emporium on the corner of Church and Pearl streets, you can find Molson on the street in front of the shop almost every day. He's usually unattended and snoozing, schmoozing or generally soaking up the adoration of nearly anyone who happens by, because I JUST WANNA SMOOSH YOUR FACE, MOLSON!

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Monday, November 14, 2016

Joke of the Week: Pun Fusion

Posted By on Mon, Nov 14, 2016 at 12:55 PM

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It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from South Burlington's Owen Foley. Take it away, Owen …

I'm thinking about opening a business that serves two separate needs. Maybe a laundromat that's also a bar, or a bookstore that's also a bar, or a restaurant that's also a truck. Even my food truck is going to serve fusion cuisine. I'm thinking Vietnamese and Italian food. Gonna call it Pho-gettaboutit.

About that joke
Says Foley: This joke is simple word play, it is dumb but I love it so much. The smart, sophisticated, and tremendously good looking audiences of Burlington also seem to enjoy it.

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Monday, November 7, 2016

Joke of the Week: It's Not Me, It's You

Posted By on Mon, Nov 7, 2016 at 9:49 AM

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It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from Burlington's Tim Bridge. Take it away, Tim …

I was dumped recently. And it sucks being broken up with. It does. It only sucks more when you're sitting on a couch, being broken up with, and multiple times in the conversation you have the thought, That's a good point.

No one wants to be broken up with. I feel like the best case scenario is being able to say, "Screw it, man, that girl was crazy." Or, "Who cares, girl. That guy was an asshole."

No one wants to be like, "Nah, this makes sense for you."

About that joke
Says Bridge: Writing jokes about how sad you feel is a pretty great way to get over how sad you feel.

I was broken up with. It made a comical amount of sense when it was explained why I was being broken up with. So I made it into a joke in order to convince myself that everything was going to be okay, which it totally, definitely, 100%, completely is.

I'm fine.

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Monday, October 31, 2016

Joke of the Week: A Very Merry Un-Birthday

Posted By on Mon, Oct 31, 2016 at 9:50 AM

inarticle300-jokeweek.jpg
It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from Burlington's Tarzan Jenkins. Take it away, Tarzan …

My eight-year-old son says to me, "Dad, I've been thinking … not all children should have birthdays."

And I'm like, "What?!"

He says," I don't think all kids should have birthdays. Some kids should have C-section days."

And I'm like,"What?!!!"

He says,"It's still a celebration, just the cake comes pre-cut down the middle."

I said,"Cut it out, boy!"

He said,"Exactly dad, exactly."

About that joke
Says Jenkins: "The wisdom of children is precious. The logic of children is hilarious!"

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Friday, October 28, 2016

Joke of the Week: Come Again?

Posted By on Fri, Oct 28, 2016 at 8:36 AM

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In celebration of the annual Vermont's Funniest Comedian competition, which runs Wednesday through Friday, October 26 through 28, at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, all this week we're posting a daily version of our weekly Joke of the Week feature. Today's dose of local hilarity comes to us from Montpelier's Kathleen Kanz. Take it away, Kathleen …

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