Solid State

So we went to see DragonForce last night. Utterly ridiculous. Metal should never be in a major key!

Since y'all are undoubtedly interested, here's some of the highlights:

#1 The place was packed. The audience — mostly kids born after 1985 —  knew the words to every song, singing lines like, "So now we fly ever free / We're free before the thunderstorm / On towards the wilderness our quest carries on / Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight / Deep inside our hearts and all our souls." Can you believe it? I couldn't.

#2. The band cracked weird sexual jokes about one another. It seemed a little too cozy, if you get my meaning.

#3. The singer can hit all the notes.

#4. Guitarist Herman "Shred" Li is out of control. Two-hand tapping is just the tip of the iceberg with this fella. His Digitech whammy pedal makes the solos sound like sped-up video game music.

#5. They had a wind machine, a fog machine and a giant banner. It was as if they were performing in a stadium. Band members took turns running to either side of the stage, stepping out front and flipping their hair around. Rinse and repeat.

#6. The keyboardist took a solo during which he played the keytar with his teeth. Ever go through the patches on a synth and wonder who the hell would use those cheesy factory presets? I found the answer in this guy.

#7. They have an honest-to-goodness power ballad. The shirtless frontman actually asked if there were "any single girls in the audience" before donning a glam-tastic black cowboy hat and crooning like it were 1987.

#8. The ladies actually ate it up.

#9. The drummer must have Popeye-size forearms from all that jackhammer snare action.

#10. All of the songs employ the same formula and construction. That didn't stop the audience from singing along, raising their fists and hopping up and down as instructed.

It was truly a bizarre spectacle. The world has apparently gone mad. I'm just waiting for the inevitable a capella craze.

Speaking of silly metal stuff.... Thanks again, Mark!