I Need Cock (Rock) | Solid State
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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I Need Cock (Rock)

Posted By on Wed, Nov 28, 2007 at 1:58 PM

Greetings, Solid State!

I have to admit, I'm a little "hurt up" today. A touch of the Irish flu, if you will. The reason? Last evening's opening frames of my very own bowling league, The Whiskeyball Gutter League.

I'm an avid bowler. Not an especially good bowler, mind you; I just really enjoy it. I love the feeling of knowing I've rolled a perfect ball the moment it leaves my fingertips. I like the shoes. I love the cheap beer. I love taking an absolutely ridiculous game waaaay too seriously with good friends who should know better. I love the kitschy Americana. I love picking up a split. And I totally dig the music.

My good friend, Jeremy Gantz, and I started the league because we were tired of bowling in public leagues with total strangers — though that aspect surely has it's charms. We approached Champlain Lanes with the idea, assuming we could field at least eight teams. We ended up with 14, nearly filling the entire alley.

Among the conditions we insisted on — draft specials and free shoes being at the top of list — being able to play music was a priority. In typical leagues, music is a Footloose-ian no-no. I imagine for folks who take the game much more seriously than we do, it can be distracting. More distracting than the 14 Bud Lights most of these "athletes" consume over three games? Perhaps.

In any event, after no small degree of haggling, we convinced the powers that be to let us hook up an iPod and play our own music over the PA. In short, it was awesome.

I put together a rough draft of a bowling mix with some of my favorite music and some obvious "bowling tunes." "Take The Skinheads Bowling." Check. Anything by Let's Go Bowling. Check. The Big Lebowski soundtrack. Check. Check. But, as totally rad as the mix was, it was flawed.

While putting it together yesterday afternoon, it occurred to me that I don't own any cock rock. It's not that I'm "too cool" or have anything against overblown guitar wankery. I've just never had occasion to acquire any. Frankly, what's a good bowling mix without hair-metal?

So I need your help, denizens of Solid State. If you were to put together an ass-kicking mix for your bowling league, what would be on it? Don't be shy. This is one opportunity to voice your guilty pleasures to the world and shed the shackles of embarrassment. Whaddaya got?

In the meantime, here's a bowling blooper reel:

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About The Author

Dan Bolles

Dan Bolles

Bio:
Dan Bolles is Seven Days' assistant arts editor.

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