Crushed Over a Crush | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Crushed Over a Crush 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Published November 28, 2012 at 12:43 p.m.

Dear Mistress,

I recently went through a big drama with one of my friends — let’s call her Amelia. Amelia and I were interested in the same girl, but Amelia beat me to the punch. They messed around for a while, but when it became apparent that their relationship wasn’t going anywhere, I sought Amelia’s blessing to ask the girl out. Amelia and I had a conversation about the whole thing, and she was cool with me pursuing the relationship. However, before I got the chance, another friend — let’s call her Jackie — swooped in and started something with the girl. Jackie knew about my feelings and the drama with Amelia. I confronted Jackie, and she is playing dumb, claiming she didn’t understand the depth of my feelings for the girl in question. Now, I feel like I jeopardized my friendship with Amelia and lost my friendship with Jackie all for nothing — I’m still alone.


Lesbian Drama

Dear L.D.,

Drama-rama! First of all, kudos to you for handling the situation with Amelia in a mature fashion. Having a conversation with Amelia before asking out your mutual love interest was the right thing to do. It’s too bad Jackie couldn’t extend you the same courtesy.

In this situation, you’ve got to rise above. It’s not about Amelia or Jackie — it’s about you and this girl. It sounds like you’ve told everyone else about your feelings for her, but have you clued her in? Does she know you’re interested? Girls like Amelia and Jackie are actively competing for her heart. But if you haven’t expressed your feelings to her, you aren’t even in the race.

It’s time to leave the drama behind and let this woman know you’re vying for her affection. Tell her that you’ve been sitting on the sidelines for too long, and you’re ready to play ball. If the feeling is mutual, these other ladies will be a distant memory for both of you. If your crush is more interested in Jackie, or still hung up on Amelia, so be it. At least you can say you threw your hat in the ring.

You can’t win if you don’t play,


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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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