How Do I Help My Friend Who Is Trapped in the Closet? | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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How Do I Help My Friend Who Is Trapped in the Closet? 

Published July 5, 2023 at 10:00 a.m. | Updated July 5, 2023 at 12:01 p.m.

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Dear Reverend,

I have a friend who is trapped in the closet. He tells me all the time in little hints and jokes he makes. I want him to come out and let him know that we will support him and his queer journey. I want to throw him a surprise Pride party just to show that we know and we support him. He doesn't have to hide anymore. What should I do, Rev? Help me!

Cardi B. Fordahorse (woman, 22)

Dear Cardi B. Fordahorse,

If your buddy came out to his friends and family and you wanted to throw him a surprise party to show support and celebrate, that would be fantastic. But it sounds like you're saying you want to have a coming-out party for someone who hasn't even come out yet? That's a big no. Nope. Noppitty-nope. I can't say it enough. That would be a huge party foul.

You think he's dropping hints that he's queer, but you may be entirely wrong. Trust me. People have thought I was a lesbian since before I even knew what the word meant. And I'm not. If somebody had thrown me a surprise coming-out party, I probably would have thought it was hilarious. A more sensitive person could be completely mortified.

Your friend's sexual orientation is none of your business unless he chooses to share that information with you. In the meantime, go ahead and have a big Pride party and invite him. But the only thing you should worry about coming out of the closet is the outfit you're going to wear.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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About The Author

The Reverend

What's your problem? Need some irreverent counsel on life's conundrums? You can always just "Ask the Rev."


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