Shake and Fake | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Shake and Fake 

Mistress Maeve

Published February 11, 2009 at 9:58 a.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

So there I was, having sex with my man lover, when I realize that his penis is definitely not hard. So I look at him, puzzled, but instead of stopping, he continues thrusting and lets out a seemingly insincere climactic moan. Because he threw the condom away immediately, I saw no evidence of sperm. Is it possible for a man to orgasm without a hard penis? If not, what on earth does this mean?


Soft Served



Dear Soft Served,

Men who practice the meditative art of multiple orgasm claim to be able to get off without having an erection or ejaculating; however, if your "man lover" was a master of the multi-orgasm, you'd most likely know it.

In all likelihood, your guy lost his erection, got self-conscious and decided to fake an orgasm to save your feelings. He could have gone soft for any number of reasons - stress, exhaustion, medication - none of which had to do with you. Failure to orgasm happens to us all at some point, and your boyfriend chose to take the easiest way out - fake it and forget it.

Do not take his theatrical performance as a reflection on you, but do keep an eye (and ear) out for more counterfeit climaxing. If you suspect he's having trouble coming, talk with him about it. Let him know you prefer open lines of communication and won't take his sexual issues personally. If the problems persist, suggest he get checked out by his doctor, since some prostate conditions can lead to trouble ejaculating.

Not faking it,


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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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