You want to do what? Where? 

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I am a man in my thirties who is very particular about body cleanliness. I like my private parts to be clean and tidy. I do most of my own grooming but have treated myself to full waxings when on vacation in larger cities, where I have found male waxing to be more accepted.

I have recently heard about anal bleaching and am curious about how it works. The skin around my anus is darker than the rest, and I find it unsightly and a bit embarrassing when I'm with a partner. Why is my skin darker here?

Thanks,

Bum Rap

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Dear B.R.,

Darker skin around the anus and genitals occurs for a number of reasons, ranging from heredity to pregnancy. Anal bleaching became decidedly more popular a few years back, when porn star Tabitha Stevens got her rosebud blanched on an episode of "Dr. 90210." Since then, salons have been adding anal bleaching to their waxing repertoires. After all, darker skin around the anus is much more noticeable after a full Brazilian wax.

Vermont waxing maven Cynthea Wight Hausman of Cynthea's Spa in Burlington says that, while she's willing to wax and pluck just about any hiney to make it more handsome, she shudders to think about "anus" and "bleach" in the same sentence. "Anal skin is very sensitive and micro-tears easily," says Hausman. "Put them both together, and it seems like a recipe for a burning bottom."

While Hausman doesn't know of any salons in Vermont that offer this service, she says the Internet is rife with home bleaching products containing kojic acid, an agent commonly used to lighten dark patches of skin on the face and body.

People bleach their hair and teeth on the quest for "perfection" - so I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that my readers now want to whiten themselves for a more alluring asshole. But frankly, sex is messy and imperfect - and so are our genitals. Let's lose this idea of "perfect" when it comes to our bodies and just have some fun, shall we?

Perfectly imperfect,

MM