An Open Letter to VitaminWater | Culture | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

An Open Letter to VitaminWater 

Dear VitaminWater:

On behalf of the St. Michael's College community, thanks for sending some of your college reps by our campus one afternoon last week in a big fancy VitaminWater van to hand out free samples of your product. I still prefer good old fashioned normal water, and in fact I'll probably never spend any money on VitaminWater, but thanks for thinking of me and my dollar, at least.

And while I'm a little leery of letting commercial enterprises set up shop on campus to prey on our young, impressionable, loan-funded minds, I have a larger issue to pick with you. You see, that VitaminWater van has a hell of a potent soundsystem. And on this day, your college reps chose to use that sound system to blast the music of Eddie Money into the eardrums of all and sundry within a half-mile radius. Yes, Eddie Fucking Money.

This seemed like a questionable choice, from a marketing perspective. While you'd be correct in guessing that the majority of St. Mike's students listen to terrible music, their collective taste skews more towards O.A.R. and Dave Matthews Band than towards Top 40 stars of the late 70's and early 80's. Besides, when I'm leaving the academic quad on a weekday afternoon after a boring class that took much too long, I neither expect nor want to be berated by booming music...especially when that music is Eddie Money. Our relatively quiet campus green is something to be cherished, you know? And those poor kids in Joyce Hall — your speakers were pointed right at them. Not even first-years deserve such a fate.

So, while songs like "Two Tickets to Paradise" and "Take Me Home Tonight" are undoubtedly the cherished classics of SOMEONE's youth...they don't apply to us, much. The next time you roll onto our campus to hawk your enigmatically-named, radioactively-colored drinks, please keep the volume down. Or at the very least, pick better music. I hear Rick Astley goes over real well with the college kids.

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

More By This Author

About The Author

Tyler Machado

Tyler Machado

Bio:
Tyler Machado was the digital media manager at Seven Days. He mostly worked behind the scenes making sure the website, email newsletters and social media feeds stayed in tip-top shape.

Speaking of College Blog

Comments


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Latest in Culture

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
newsletters:

All content © 2020 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401  |  Contact Us
Website powered by Foundation