Are You Serial? | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

Are You Serial? 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I recently heard the term "serial monogamist" from a friend who used it to describe the guy who dumped me a few weeks ago. We'd been dating for a couple months, taking it slow and getting along fantastically - until he suddenly "met someone" and insisted that we were, the whole time, "just friends." I've asked a number of people, Mistress, and even my therapist agrees that we were dating. He's rearranged the facts of the story to create his own version of the truth. From what I know about him and his past relationships, and from what I've read about serial monogamy, it certainly seems to fit his behavior. As hurt and angry as I am, though, I'm left wondering if he's capable of opening his eyes long enough to realize that he's thrown away a fantastic opportunity. Is there hope for a serial monogamist, or will all of his relationships be doomed to failure?


Didn't Deserve This


Dear Didn't,

The Dartmouth Free Press published an interesting article in 2005 claiming that serial monogamy - the act of jumping from one relationship to the next, staying single as briefly as possible - has become the most popular dating trend of our time. The article suggests that serial monogamy is the most socially acceptable mode of dating, a happy medium between polyamory (having multiple partners at once) and the lifelong monogamy expected by previous generations.

Ironically, serial monogamy breeds both a fear of a commitment and a fear of being alone - a Catch-22 that your guy could be experiencing. But, honestly, if he's not willing to admit you were even dating, why waste your time trying to analyze his behavior? If his fear of commitment is beyond his control, it is most certainly beyond yours. No, you didn't deserve this. But it's time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take this as a lesson learned: Open the lines of communication early - if you believe you're "dating," let it be known.

Serially yours,


Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

More By This Author

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2022 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401

Advertising Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  Contact Us  |  About Us  |  Help
Website powered by Foundation