Cheesy Follow-up | Hackie | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

Cheesy Follow-up 

In my last posting, I blogged about the American Cheese Society Conference which took place over three days at the Sheraton. Well, there's more. Yes, more cheesy nuggets.

Saturday night I drove yet more cheeseheads, excuse me, attendees, one of whom informed me of a glorious event scheduled for 10am the following morning: After the competition is over, apparently the participating cheese-makers have lots of product left over that they don't want to repack with dry ice, etc., and lug back to from whence they came. So, there will be a sale to the public, with all the fancy-schmancy cheeses at a buck a pop!

Like most normal humans, I covet a high quality cheese.Sometimes at the supermarket I'll browse the deli section and gaze longingly at the exotic cheeses with the foreign names and try to imagine the subtle, nuanced flavors fermenting, tantalizing beneath the white wrappers. I never, however, pick one up to buy, because I simply refuse to pay $8.75 for a food product the size of a cigarette lighter.

I showed up this morning (Sunday) at the Sheraton. Around the back, just outside the conference center, was a large white tent. In the parking lot sat more Volvo's, BMW's and Saab's than you'd see at a Judy Collins concert. This blow-out - heavily discounted "artisan" cheeses - was like distribution day at the Food Shelf for upper middle-class white people.

Inside the tent was a huge rectangle of brown folding tables stacked with cheese, cheese and more cheese. As you entered, everyone was given an official yellow bag. A woman who looked like a summer camp coach kept announcing:  Not yet! Not yet! No shopping until 10 o'clock sharp. Two more minutes, people! Two more minutes!" 

When the bell sounded, it was like the old TV show, "Supermarket Sweep" or the California Gold Rush of 1849. Sheep that I am, I got totally swept up in the mania and ultimately left with enough cheese to vault my cholesterol to Code Red.

I've been eating cheese now all afternoon. I've eaten too much cheese. I'm bloated.

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

More By This Author

About The Author

Jernigan Pontiac

Jernigan Pontiac

Jernigan Pontiac was a Burlington cab driver whose biweekly "Hackie" column appeared in Seven Days 2000-20. He has published two book-length collections, Hackie: Cab Driving and Life, and Hackie 2: Perfect Autumn.


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Latest in Hackie

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2021 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Advertising Policy  |  Contact Us
Website powered by Foundation