Drive Time | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

Drive Time 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost six years. We understand that sex slows down a bit after you've been together for a while, but we're wondering if there might be more to our hibernating libidos. For example, I have felt a decrease in my sex drive since going on medication for my anxiety. She thinks her birth control pills may be having an effect on her sex drive and causing a decrease in her natural lubrication, thereby making sex painful. I'm a young man, so my libido is still somewhat intact, even with the medication, but I just wish she could enjoy herself more consistently like she used to.

Is it possible that her pills are causing this downturn in her libido? Should we switch back to condoms and forget the chemical side of it?

Hibernating Hunnies


Dear H.H.,

It is definitely possible that your girlfriend's birth control pills are diminishing her sex drive. Luckily, there are many different types of birth control. I highly recommend that she talk to her doctor - he or she may prescribe a different pill or suggest another form of birth control altogether.

However, as you mention in your letter, sex drives ebb and flow, especially over the course of a long-term relationship. She could be experiencing a natural low period, and her drive will eventually right itself. Or perhaps she has some emotional issues going on. You seem like a sensitive guy - if you haven't already, talk to her about her lack of desire. If she thinks it's the pill, get her to talk with her doc. If it's something deeper, suggest that she talk to a trusted friend or therapist. Whatever the case, remain patient and supportive - and use some water-based lube.

Also, it's common for men to experience a lower libido while taking some prescription meds; however, be sure to communicate with your doctor, too.

Living Libido Loca,


Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

More By This Author

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2022 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401

Advertising Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  Contact Us  |  About Us  |  Help
Website powered by Foundation