Expiration Date? | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Expiration Date? 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress Maeve,

At the beginning of the year, I started dating a guy. We had a lot of fun together, and I started getting excited about the possibility of a relationship (which is scary for me, because I tend to run away from commitment). I could tell that he was somewhat resistant, as evidenced by the fact that we made out a lot, but never fooled around the entire two months we were hanging out. But it was really confusing, because he masked these obvious signs by saying that he was really into me but wanted to "take things slow."

After a while, I put my heart on the table, and he rejected me . . . I think. He never gave me a real response or explanation; our relationship just kind of fizzled.

So, whatever. He was clearly "just not that into me." When I see him out now, we pretend like nothing happened. Sometimes we even email or chat online about mundane things like work and movies. This frustrates and upsets me. Is it totally lame to ask him what the hell happened, now that a few months have passed?


Perplexed Patty


Dear Patty,

The short answer is yes - it would be lame to seek answers from him months after your relationship has ended.

Putting your heart on the line can be terrifying, especially for us girls who shy away from commitment. But hey, at least you were honest with him about your feelings - sounds like he can't say the same.

Learn from this failed attempt at love and move on. With this relationship behind you, I suspect you'll have a keener eye for guys who "just aren't that into you." Further, let this experience teach you to expect more communication from future mates. After dating him for two months, you deserved more of an explanation than you received.

As for this friendly online relationship - cut it out. Stop communicating with him if it's making you upset. Be civil when you see him in public, but it's high time he stopped inserting himself into your inbox. Got it?

Totally into you,


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Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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