Face Time | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It

Face Time 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

I need help. I’ve been married for 25 years. My husband is bisexual. Lately he spends hours on the computer talking to guys and discussing fantasies. In the meantime, I have to sit and watch. Then, when he’s done and it’s time for bed, he’s all turned on and I’m totally turned off. He claims he’s frustrated. Um, yeah, so am I! Any advice?


So Tired

Dear ST,

Don’t fret. When you’ve been together as long as you have, you’re bound to have lulls in your love life. His bisexuality has nothing to do with it. The problem is that you and your husband are disconnected. While he’s having jock fantasies online, you’re stewing on the sidelines. It’s time to get in the game and put your heads together for a winning strategy.

He’s frustrated, you’re frustrated. When both partners are unhappy, it’s easy to stubbornly point fingers. Don’t do it. Instead, let your guard down. Have a heart-to-heart and let him know that you want to make your sex life a priority. There’s nothing wrong with your husband playing out his bi desires online, but he shouldn’t be doing it instead of sharing his fantasies with you. It’s unrealistic to think he’ll never go online to chat with other dudes, but ask that he doesn’t do so when you’re home and readily available. When he goes online with you around, it can feel like he’s choosing someone else over you. I don’t know many women who would feel good about that (let alone turned on and ready for sex).

Together, choose a night in the upcoming week to turn off technology and turn on the intimacy. You’ve been together a long time, and connection — not to the Internet — should be all you need to reignite the flame. No computer, no phone — the most technological you’re allowed to get is inserting his dongle into your USB port, if you know what I mean.



Did you appreciate this story?

Show us your ❤️ by becoming a Seven Days Super Reader.

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2019 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation