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Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Published June 1, 2011 at 10:27 a.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

A girlfriend of mine at work was describing a terrible first date she had gone on. Among other faux pas, the guy chose a restaurant that made it nearly impossible for her to eat due to her dietary restrictions (he knew this ahead of time), he was rude to the waitstaff and then he demanded they split the check. She ended the date as quickly as possible, but the guy is still calling and texting.

So, here’s where my question comes in: Upon hearing all of us girls chatting about this horrible date, our male coworker suggested that my friend tell the guy what he did wrong. He says that, rather than just blow the guy off or decline a second date without explanation, she should actually tell him all the things he did wrong so that he can make adjustments on future first dates.

Do people actually do this, or is our male coworker a complete knucklehead?


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Dear Feedback Form,

Your male coworker is a complete knucklehead. Your friend is not this guy’s mommy, therapist or friend, so she has no business giving him self-improvement tips. Plus, can we say, “Awkward!”?

The best thing for her to do is cut her losses and run. If the guy hasn’t gotten the hint by now, she should call, email or text him and politely put an end to their courtship (after only one date, any of these modes of communication is fine). She can simply say, “Thanks for a nice evening, but I don’t feel we’re a match. Best of luck in the future.”

As for your coworker, it sounds like he’s the one who needs the feedback. If he’s worried about this guy, remind him that one girl’s trash is another girl’s treasure. Even though the guy in question came off as an insensitive, rude and cheap bastard, some woman will most likely think he’s perfect.

No accounting for taste,


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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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