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Free Pass? 

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. She is much younger than me and has never been with anyone else. Lately, she has had doubts about our relationship, not because she doesn't care about me, but because she has never experienced anyone else sexually. She is fairly sure about her sexuality (we are women), but she has never explored. She really cares about me and doesn't want to break up, but this "problem" is nagging at her.

I love this woman with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I don't want this issue to hang over our heads. I was thinking that I should give her a couple of free passes to be with a man and a woman of her choosing. There would be rules, of course. This would not be at all easy for me, and I realize that the grass might be greener on the other side of the fence, but if I don't allow this, she will always wonder. Thoughts?

Signed,
Do I Love Her Enough?

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Dear D.I.L.H.E.,

Ever noticed how the number of people we've slept with can become so important when we're considering never having sex with anyone new again? In your girlfriend's case, you're right — her inexperience will likely always keep her looking to the other side of the fence for that greener pasture. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if your girlfriend is already looking to play in the neighbor's yard, it's doubtful she'll remain faithful to you in the long term.

You have two choices: You can set some ground rules, give her two free passes and hope for the best. Or you can make a clean break and let her sow some oats. If I were you, I would opt for the latter. As I see it, it's heartbreak now or heartbreak later — your choice.

Hopping the fence,
MM

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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Bio:
Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.

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