Gaydar Malfunctions | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It

Gaydar Malfunctions 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress Maeve,

As you and your readers know, our planet is comprised of gay people, straight people and lots of people somewhere in between. As a gay man with a normal (or slightly elevated) sex drive, I often see guys to whom I am attracted - but without a nametag that reads, "Hi. I'm gay," I have no idea who falls into the category of my liking. Every time I see someone of interest, my confidence level flatlines, and I end up not approaching him. What's a guy to do when he spots someone who makes his engine roar?


Cyclically Excited and Frustrated


Dear Cyclically,

Flirting is a game of risk and chance - you have to be willing to experience rejection in the pursuit of scoring a date with a hottie who catches your eye. For gay men, flirting can be a still riskier business. Even now, with marriage equality enshrined in state law, violence against gay people remains a real threat, and you don't want to incite the rage of a gay-bashing idiot by asking him for his phone number.

That said, if you see a guy who "makes your engine roar" at the grocery store, there's no harm in asking him to help you select a ripe avocado. If you end up exchanging guacamole recipes, it's a pretty safe bet that you can also exchange email addresses. If he's not interested, he'll move on to the next aisle.

If you don't trust your gaydar in mixed company, volunteer for your favorite queer organization or attend art shows and performances featuring gay artists - you're sure to find a few flirting prospects in these places. You can also sign up for online dating - it's pretty tough to get your wires crossed when sexual orientation is printed clearly on the screen.

Happy flirting,


Did you appreciate this story?

Show us your ❤️ by becoming a Seven Days Super Reader.

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2019 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation