Habitual Ritual | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Habitual Ritual 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

My friends convinced me to write you about this experience I had recently with a one-night stand — he had the weirdest habit when he was about to orgasm. During the roughly 12 hours we spent together, we had sex twice. Both times, as he was getting ready to come, he would tense his face and grunt out, “one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.” When he hit 10, he orgasmed. I didn’t ask him about it, and he didn’t mention anything about this strange habit. I know that everyone has an O-face they make during orgasm, but is it normal to have a ritual like counting to 10?


Habitual Ritual

Dear Habitual Ritual,

While counting out loud is one of the more unique orgasm stories I’ve heard, it could be worse. Remember when Charlotte from “Sex and the City” had sex with the guy who couldn’t orgasm without saying, “You fucking bitch, you fucking whore”? By comparison, counting to 10 is quite tame.

It’s perfectly natural to develop orgasm rituals, and many of these habits are started from a young age. It’s reasonable to think that your guy has been counting to 10 for as long as he’s been masturbating. As an adult, he may have trouble achieving his desired orgasm without counting. Orgasm rituals are more common than you think — from pointing one’s toes to balling up the sheets into one’s fist, most of us have something we do while getting off. An informal poll of my friends this week revealed stories of teeth grinding, breath holding and chanting, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.”

All in all, your guy’s habit is totally normal. However, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t count backwards from 10 to one — certainly a countdown is more climactic than a count up. “Three, two, one, blast-off!”

Countless orgasms,


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Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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