Holiday Trimmings | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
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Holiday Trimmings 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress Maeve,

For Christmas this year, I want to get my girlfriend something she’s been wanting for a long time. I want to shave my junk for her. She has been after me for a while to cut it back, but I’ve been reluctant. She says she would go down on me more if I was shaved, so I’d like to make that happen. I tried to use trimmers once, but my hair got stuck and it hurt like hell. I want to shave my balls the old-fashioned way, but I need some tips so I don’t hurt my most valuable body parts.


Hirsute Pursuits

Dear Hirsute Pursuits,

I’ve heard of trimming the tree together for the holidays, but it sounds like she’d rather trim your south pole.

You and your girlfriend might be interested to know that the ’80s-style full bush is making a comeback. In this week’s T: New York Times Style Magazine blog, Amanda Hess remarks that pubic hair is making a “return to a more natural state.” She notes that popular porn stars such as Stoya aren’t afraid to grow out their pubic and armpit hair. Based on her more than 155,000 Twitter followers, it seems Stoya’s fans aren’t put off by a bountiful bush. FYI, you can follower her on Twitter at @Stoya — but be careful, not all her links are safe for work!

However, pubic hair being en vogue means very little if it turns your lady off. Before performing this Christmas miracle, check in with your partner. Is she expecting a full shave? Or would she be satisfied with a tight trim? If she’s going for smooth, try these tips:

1. Trim the excess hair using scissors or clippers.

2. Sit in a warm bath or take a hot shower — this will loosen the scrotum and soften the hair.

3. Use quality shaving cream or gel — no soap.

4. Pull the skin of the scrotum taut, creating a flat shaving surface.

5. Using a sharp razor, make deliberate strokes until all the hair is gone (please, no dull blades on the balls, OK?).

6. Continue carefully shaving around the base of the penis and taint for a smooth-all-over look.

7. Moisturize with a mild cream, such as a facial moisturizer.

If bringing a razor blade to your scrotum is too much to bear, you can always visit an aesthetician for a genital wax. Plus, it’s something you and your girl can do together — ’tis the season, after all.

Smooth sailing,


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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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