Scarlett Letters: How Do We Make Anal Pleasurable for Both of Us? | Scarlett Letters | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

Scarlett Letters: How Do We Make Anal Pleasurable for Both of Us? 

Published June 6, 2018 at 10:00 a.m. | Updated June 6, 2018 at 10:28 a.m.

click to enlarge scarlett1-1-bac47e7744a74af2.jpg

Dear Scarlett,

So, my partner and I have agreed to be open to anal, and she asked me to use a condom, which I don't mind at all. I'm just wondering how we might go about starting foreplay and getting into the actual act? I want this to be as wonderful for her as possible.


Dongman (male, 18)

Dear Dongman,

You're already on the right track by putting her comfort and pleasure first. Anal is popular in porn, but this is real life, and the kind of pounding shown on-screen is rarely enjoyable. The anus is full of nerve endings, and rough sex can hurt.

Yes, use a condom. It will prevent the spread of bacteria. Do not use the same condom for vaginal sex, however, as it carries a very high risk for urinary tract infections. Lubrication is a must. The anus does not lubricate naturally like the vagina, and it is not as pliable. Thicker lubes, like K-Y, tend to last longer than thin, water-based ones. Baby wipes can help if things get messy.

Start with a little penetration, perhaps with a small vibrator or your finger. You might want to do that a few times before going further. When she's ready for intercourse, take it slow. Lying flat on her stomach will be easier and less painful than doggy-style or the missionary position. Or she might want to be on top for more control.

The head is the largest part of the penis, so ease it in and give her a few minutes to get used to it. Ask her how she feels. If she's ready to go further, rock slowly; don't thrust. Moving too fast could injure her.

To your girlfriend: Relax and communicate. Be open to having an orgasm. Stimulate your clitoris, or ask your partner to. Penetration may hurt a bit, and you may feel like you're going to poop, but that sensation fades pretty fast. Tell him to stop if it's painful. And make sure to pee right after to avoid getting a UTI.

Have fun — but take it slow. In the end (ahem), it's about enjoying each other.



Fill out my online form.
Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

About The Author



Comments are closed.

From 2014-2020, Seven Days allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we've appreciated the suggestions and insights, right now Seven Days is prioritizing our core mission — producing high-quality, responsible local journalism — over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2023 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401

Advertising Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  Contact Us  |  About Us  |  Help
Website powered by Foundation