I'm Worried About Having Sex for the First Time in Years | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I'm Worried About Having Sex for the First Time in Years 

Published September 9, 2020 at 10:00 a.m.

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Dear Reverend,

I am recently single after over a decade. The last few years I have seen zero action, and I'm afraid that whenever the time comes, I'm going to completely make a fool of myself and not know what to do — as well as be dry AF. Tell me that sex after years of none will be awesome and I'll remember what to do.

Worried Lady (female, 38)

Dear Worried Lady,

I recently started riding a bike again after a very long time, and you know what? The old cliché is right. I still knew how to do it. Sex is just like that. Once you know how it works, you don't forget. It may seem a little awkward at first, but I'm sure you'll get right back into the swing of things.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? The same goes for your lady parts. Imagine how exciting that first time back in the saddle will be. I don't think you need to be worried about dryness, but there ain't no shame in the lube game. It's best to be prepared for anything, so I'd highly recommend purchasing a few kinds from your local sex shop to try out solo before the big show.

Having sex after a long hiatus may be even better than you remember. Don't overthink it. Just go with the flow, and the flow will go.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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The Reverend

What's your problem? Need some irreverent counsel on life's conundrums? You can always just "Ask the Rev."


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