IRL | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

IRL 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My husband and I are both geeks, but that never stopped us from having a great sex life. The thing is, we're now in our third year of marriage and getting kind of bored. The result is that we're on the Internet all night instead of in each other's arms. I'm addicted to role-playing games like World of War Craft, where I can be a hot elf chick and interact with totally ripped warriors. I don't actually have "cyber-sex," but I've come close. As for my hubby, his PC is in another room, so I don't have to see what kind of porn he favors, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is.

Last night we were both online till 4 a.m. Is this really unhealthy? Do you have any advice on how we can rekindle our relationship in "meat space"?

Thanks,

Virtual Vixen

-------------------------------------

Dear Vixen,

The problem with real relationships - or IRL relationships, as you geeks would say - is that they lack the excitement of constant newness. In a virtual world, you can whip up an avatar that looks like Angelina Jolie one day, and be a hot librarian the next. As for your sweetie, he'll never run out of new wank material. Meanwhile, you can both ignore the fact that you're feeling less attracted to each other. In fact, you can ignore each other, period.

It's healthy to have down time in a relationship - up to a point. But when your eyes ache from staring at the LCD screen and you're developing carpal tunnel, you've got a problem. Sooner or later, you're going to need to remember what an actual warm body feels like.

My suggestion: Try introducing your hubby to the delights of real-life role-playing. Find out what he fantasizes about, and tell him what turns you on - even if it's brawny swordsmen and he resembles Steve Buscemi. Then get some costumes and help him rev up his hard drive. Sure, you'll feel silly at first. But you may find out a pixillated image has nothing on the real thing.

Wishing you gigs of fun,

MM

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

More By This Author

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Bio:
Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.

Comments


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
newsletters:

All content © 2020 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401  |  Contact Us
Website powered by Foundation