Isn't Punching Taking Things Too Far? | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

Isn't Punching Taking Things Too Far? 

click to enlarge rev1-1-98b6664b7253de43.jpg

Dear Reverend, 

I met this girl at a bar, and a few days later we went on a date. After dinner, we went to my house for a few drinks. We fooled around for a while, and not long after we started to have sex, she yelled: "Punch me!" I got really uncomfortable and froze up. She called me a pussy, and she left. I feel bad about it, but I'm not used to rough sex. Isn't punching taking it too far?

Gentle Man (Male, 29)

Dear Gentle Man,

It's obvious you didn't take it far enough for her taste, but that's understandable. She committed a big boudoir blunder by dropping the "Punch me!" bomb right out of the gate. Someone who's into that sort of thing should know better, but maybe the drinks went to her head. I bet the evening would've turned out differently if she had playfully suggested a light spanking or a simple blindfold. Her loss, I suppose.

The rough stuff might be fantastic for some, but — as with any sexual activity — it's OK only if everybody involved is on board. Partners need to discuss boundaries and safety before diving into any sort of BDSM. Punching is pretty out there, even for an experienced practitioner. Anything involving the head, face or neck is often considered edgeplay. That's a term for anything that could be viewed as not safe, sane or fully consensual. The definition is very subjective, but the people involved need to trust each other implicitly.

You shouldn't feel bad about freezing up. Actually, you should be commended for knowing and respecting your own limits.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

Fill out my online form.
Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

About The Author

The Reverend

What's your problem? Need some irreverent counsel on life's conundrums? You can always just "Ask the Rev."


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2021 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Advertising Policy  |  Contact Us
Website powered by Foundation