Limerick This | Food + Drink Features | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
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Limerick This 

Foodie verse from rhymin' readers

Readers responded enthusiastically to our first-ever food-related limerick contest. Traced back to 14th-century England - and probably some pub - the five-line limerick is the Rodney Dangerfield of poetry: It just doesn't get much respect. But limericks do get the most laughs, in part because of their usually bawdy nature.

Most of the limericks we received stayed within wholesome bounds, but perhaps that's appropriate for verse about food. Unfortunately, some writers permitted themselves excessive "poetic license" - way too many syllables, improper rhythm or rhyme. (You know who you are if your submission isn't on these pages.) A few entries needed gentle editing to fit the form, or required us to relax the scan standards. Some writers got it just right.

The lucky limerick winner? Selina French of Stowe, who composed the first verse printed here. She wins a breakfast for two at Penny Cluse in Burlington!

A close runner-up is the limerick by Steven Hanson of Richmond. Funny, the top two had something to do with burger joints. Perhaps more surprising: Not one of the entries we received referred to Nantucket.


In Stowe as I ponder my lunch,

do I crave a full meal or a munch?

There's sweet and there's spicy,

there's way overpricey

but no Mickey Dees in the bunch!

- Selina French


When you're hungry but so full of woe,

and your cash flow is scarily low,

there's a burger in town

that won't let you down -

Al's French Frys is the place to go.

- Steven Hanson


Though late night's a feast for the eyes,

it's the belly that gets the surprise.

Whether hot dogs or sausage,

in the mouth it gets tossaged,

and topped off with hot gravy fries.

- Damon Brink 

An egg is a devilish thing

that can also be in à la king

or phoo yong, or a cup,

even sunny-side up.

Here's to yolks, and the jokes that they bring!

- Regina Murray Brault

There once was a gard'ning fanatic

with seed packs from cellar to attic.

She lived in Vermont -

what more could one want?

Though the seasons are somewhat erratic.

- Lisa Schamberg 

There once was a café at Myers

whose bagels were cooked with wood fires

Boar's Head all the time

made their sandwiches fine.

Soups and sweets that would please any buyers!

- The Café at Myers 

The best place to eat is 5 Spice

if you try the mock duck or the rice.

We all love dim sum,

can't help but say "yum,"

and each time the staff is so nice.

- Jamie Garvey

A chocolate-dipped pear is sublime,

a cheesecake with cherries divine.

But after a dinner

I'm trying to get thinner,

so treasures I tend to decline.

- Alison James

A snob with a snood in her hair

attended a fancy affair -

caviar, pink champagne,

candlelight, snood aflame.

"My dear," they said, "you have such flair."

- Regina Murray Brault

You can't beat the food at Vietnam,

though the dining is not very "glam."

The pho is a winner

and a pretty cheap dinner

will make you as glad as a clam.

- Jamie Garvey 

There's a restaurant called Trader Duke's

where you'll eat so much chow you might puke.

They've got eggs, bacon, pastry,

and sausage so tasty,

and it's all cooked there fresh, it's not nuked.

- Hunter Hard

There once was a turnip named Hal

whose friend was a carrot called Cal.

They went on a bender,

wound up in a blender

that liquefied Hal and his pal.

- Dan DeSanto

There was an old fish egg named Plato,

alone in a jar in Laredo.

It never would last,

it wanted a blast,

so it burst like a hot baked potato.

- Megan Force

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