Minty Fresh 

Dear Mistress,

I recently went to the dentist, and the girl who cleaned my teeth was friendly, cute, single and living alone. She says she is bored sometimes because she lives 30 minutes from town. I really wanted to ask her out, but I didn’t want to do it in front of her coworkers, and the timing just didn’t seem right. I left without anything but her first name.

What is the least creepy way of getting more information about this girl so I can properly ask her out? I could call the office and ask for her last name, and from there I may be able to track her down on a social-networking site. I could also call the office and ask to speak with her. I don’t want to wait six months again to see her. What’s the best way to approach this?

Signed,

Minty Fresh

Dear Minty Fresh,

Let’s get real — this is probably not going to work out. Health care workers get hit on and asked out all the time. These people are paid to take care of and be nice to you, so it’s easy to mix the messages. That said, if you insist on pursuing a date with her, I’ll give you some tips.

First of all, the “girl” who cleaned your teeth is actually a dental hygienist. I imagine she has worked hard to achieve her professional goals, so you don’t want to put her job at risk by publicly fraternizing with her. To that end, do not tip off her coworkers by asking them for her last name. Besides, they likely won’t be keen on giving out her personal info to a patient.

If you’re looking for the “least creepy” way of contacting her, forget social networking. If you pop up with a friend request or a tweet, it will be obvious that you cyber-stalked her. Be more direct. Either wait for your next cleaning to ask her out, or send a note to her attention via the dentist’s office address. Keep it light — thank her for getting your teeth squeaky clean and tell her you enjoyed chatting with her. Let her know you’d be happy to alleviate her boredom by taking her out. Give her your digits and email address, and leave it at that. If she contacts you, great. If not, you might consider getting a new dentist to avoid the crushing humiliation of having her floss your teeth.

Mouthing Off,