My Boyfriend Doesn't Like Sex During My Period | Ask Athena | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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My Boyfriend Doesn't Like Sex During My Period 

Dear Athena,

My boyfriend is really uncomfortable with being intimate with me while I'm having my period. The problem is, I get really horny when the "red tide" is happening. What should we do? Should he overcome his discomfort, or should I be gentle with his squeamishness? In essence, we all come from periods, and I don't have a lot of sympathy for his weirdness around it. Would love to get your advice!

Signed,

Red Tide Trouble

Dear Red Tide Trouble,

Many women admit to feeling a bit more randy than usual during their period. I asked my doctor about this once, and she said that when the menstruation process begins, your testosterone and estrogen levels are low. But midway through your period, those levels begin to rise — this accounts for the spike in your sex drive. Unfortunately, a lot of things can get in the way of a good time here. Often it's the woman who puts the kibosh on getting busy during that time of the month: She might worry about the mess or the discomfort her partner may feel. But you're all for it, and I think that's awesome.

I understand your impatience with your boyfriend, but maybe he's never been with anyone who was keen on sex during her period, and so he has no experience in this department. Maybe he's worried about staining the sheets or hurting you. Maybe he's just really squeamish at the sight of blood (and doesn't want to admit it). Have you asked him to explain his resistance?

Here are a few tips to help manage his discomfort so you can get back to getting some without skipping a week or more of fun every month:

• The missionary position will keep the flow at bay, simply because you are lying on your back and gravity is on your side. Don't forget to lay down a towel you don't care about first.

• Sex in the shower is always fun and clean! Or a shower together after sex is a lovely way to finish off the love session.

• Try a female condom or a menstrual cup. These can help keep some of the blood out of the way. Even a condom on him would keep his member clean — that alone could do the trick for him.

• Try having sex on days when your period is a little lighter.

• Skip the hand or oral foreplay and get straight to business if he is particularly unsettled by seeing or touching the blood.

• Tell him that the blood acts as extra lubrication. That's always helpful!

Once he sees how comfortable you are in your own body and how frisky you feel during your period, he may come around to the idea. Who knows — he might discover that the sex you have during your period is some of the best you've had yet.

Yours,

Athena

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