My Ex Screwed Me Over. Now He Wants Me Back | Ask Athena | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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My Ex Screwed Me Over. Now He Wants Me Back 

Published July 29, 2015 at 10:00 a.m.

Dear Athena,

My ex-boyfriend and baby daddy broke my heart so many times and even had a child with someone else while I was still in a relationship with him. I forgave him so many times, and I knew he did not deserve it. I finally decided to let go and move on because I could not take it anymore. Now he says he misses me and cannot live without me. He is still with his girlfriend, but he says there is no one like me. He often calls and asks for my help. I don't assist him with anything, but I still do care for him. Sometimes I feel guilty for not helping him. What can I do?


Guilty Ex-Girlfriend

Dear Guilty Ex-Girlfriend,

Typical. The minute you start to get over someone, they start crawling back into your life. But I can't let you get tangled up in his web of manipulation and deceit. It's not easy to free yourself from the tight grip of someone you once loved, but you can do it.

Let's go over the facts. This guy has screwed you over time and time again. He's being deceitful to both you and his present girlfriend. He's a user and a taker. I don't have to tell you that he's bad for you. You already know.

That's why you've taken the first steps in the right direction. Not helping him when he calls must be really hard. After all, he isn't just some ex — he's the father of your child. It's hard enough to say goodbye when there aren't such strong ties.

He's counting on the connection of your child to keep you under his spell. He has a lot of power in that way. But you don't have to give in. You have to be strong.

You may still have feelings for him, but it's important to realize that those feelings might be mixed up in the love of your child. Separate the man from the father, and you'll gain more headway on your journey forward.

It's time to finish cutting that cord. Trust your instincts, and don't give in to him. He will only hurt you again. His actions guarantee it.

If you need to communicate with him, try email. And focus the subject solely on your child. Nothing else. He'll see anything more as an invitation. Don't give him a reason to reach out to you.

It'll get easier. And soon, you'll see how letting him go makes room for something wonderful to come your way.



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