My Son and His Wife Are Considering an Open Marriage | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It

My Son and His Wife Are Considering an Open Marriage 

click to enlarge rev1-1-5d7284bcb90b678c.png

Dear Reverend, 

My 38-year-old son has been married for nine years. He and his wife have a great relationship, other than sexually. By that I mean, they never have sex. About eight months ago, his wife suggested they try an open marriage, and he agreed. She now has a fairly steady "friend," but my son hasn't actively been trying to meet anyone. I think the whole thing is a recipe for disaster. Am I just being old-fashioned?

Disapproving Dad (man, 67)

Dear Disapproving Dad, 

If equating marriage with monogamy makes you old-fashioned, a wide swath of the population is in the same antiquated boat as you. While having a one-and-only may seem like the norm, in reality only about 17 percent of human cultures are strictly monogamous.

Deciding to have sex with other people is certainly no way to solve marital problems, but if a couple is solid in every other way, seeking sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage isn't necessarily a bad idea. However, before opening up the playing field, the couple needs to set rules and be sure to stick to them. Hopefully that's the case for your son and his wife.

I don't think it's very fair for one partner to actively partake in sextracurricular activities while the other doesn't. Perhaps your son is cool with the current situation, but jealousy can get the best of even the most open-minded person. Only time will tell.

You seem like a good dad who is just looking out for his son's best interests. The fact that he told you about any of this leads me to believe you two are very close. I'm sure that if things take a turn for the worse — or the better — he'll let you know.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

Fill out my online form.

Did you appreciate this story?

Show us your ❤️ by becoming a Seven Days Super Reader.

Tell me more!

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It

More by The Reverend

About The Author

The Reverend


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Ask the Rev.

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2020 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation