News Quirks | News Quirks | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It
Favorite

News Quirks 

Curses, Foiled Again

A surveillance video showed the man who stole two 24-packs of beer from a convenience store in Lake Wales, Fla., making his getaway. Before he made it to his car, however, his sagging jeans dropped, causing him to fall to the ground and sending cans of beer rolling in every direction. He got up and jumped into the vehicle and drove off empty handed. (Lakeland’s Ledger)

A man handed a note to a bank teller in Okeechobee, Fla., demanding a sack full of cash. When the teller said she didn’t have a bag, the would-be robber, who was also bagless, left empty handed. The Okeechobee County sheriff’s office said the suspect fled the scene on a bicycle and was apprehended within seven minutes, thanks to bank personnel’s good description of Joseph Price, 61. (United Press International)

Grass Is Always Greener

Increasing numbers of Arizona residents are painting their lawns green to avoid high water bills and fines from homeowners associations that can amount to thousands of dollars. An average-size lawn costs $200 to spray with a vegetable-based dye that lasts three months before turning blue. Although painting lawns keeps the grass green, it still needs watering so it doesn’t die. Besides fear of citations from homeowners’ associations, the biggest boost to the grass-spraying business has been the housing crisis, which prompted real estate brokers to find cheap ways to enhance the curb appeal of available properties. (New York Times)

Grievance of the Week

After Scranton, Pa., Police Chief Dan Duffy made an impromptu drug arrest while off duty, the city police union complained to the state Labor Relations Board because Duffy isn’t a member of the collective bargaining unit. Noting “the work of apprehending and arresting individuals has been the sole and exclusive province of members of the bargaining unit,” the complaint states that the city failed to notify the union the chief would be “performing bargaining unit work.” Despite the grievance, police union president Sgt. Bob Martin said the chief is “morally and legally obligated” to act if he witnesses a crime and to make an arrest if necessary. “It’s not against the chief,” Martin explained. “The action is against the city.” (Scranton’s Times-Tribune)

Pre-Firing Bonus

A review of disciplinary hearings involving New York City teachers found that even when investigations confirm wrongdoing, the city’s Department of Education might take several years to dismiss teachers, who continue receiving pay. The review cited as an example Bronx teacher Barbara Lee, who DOE investigators confirmed in August 2005 had helped students cheat on their state math tests the previous May. Lee fought her termination, and the case dragged on until May 2010, when the city finally terminated her. During those five years, Lee received nearly $360,000 without teaching a single class. Indicating that suspended teachers have every incentive to drag out the process because of a shortage of arbitrators and the backlog of cases, Jay Worona, chief counsel for the New York State School Boards Association, acknowledged, “The whole system is very, very flawed.” (New York Post)

Identity Crisis

Search warrants executed by members of the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force disclosed that Joseph Jeffrey Brice, 21, who was critically injured when a bomb he was making exploded at his home in Clarkston, Wash., had opened email and PayPal accounts using the name of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh. (Seattle Times)

State police stopped a man at Pennsylvania’s Lehigh County International Airport who identified himself with a Texas driver’s license. Troopers wrote down the information and then asked the man to repeat his date of birth. When he got it wrong, he ran off and tossed a wallet into some shrubs. Police caught the man and recovered the wallet, which contained 12 counterfeit driver’s licenses. Unable to determine the man’s real name, they booked him as John Doe. (Allentown’s Morning Call)

First Things First

When police Officer Courtney Vassell tried to stop Roberta Spen, 64, for having faulty brake lights, the Coral Springs, Fla., resident instead headed for a McDonald’s drive-through lane and ordered lunch. Vassell pulled up behind her and told her to pull into the parking lot, but Spen got her food and drove off. When Vassell finally stopped her, he said she “rolled her window down one inch and said she was not speeding and she would not roll her window down.” Spen refused to hand over her driver’s license and drove away. Other officers joined Vassell in pursuit of Spen, who finally stopped for a red light. After failing to box her in there, officers finally succeeded in trapping her. She refused to leave the car, however, so they broke the driver’s side window and removed her. Police found no indication that Spen, who had no criminal record, was under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and she wouldn’t explain her refusal to stop. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It
Favorite

More by Roland Sweet

About The Author

Roland Sweet

Bio:
Roland Sweet is the author of the syndicated column "News Quirks," which appears weekly in Seven Days.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in News Quirks

Social Club

Like Seven Days contests and events? Join the club!

See an example of this newsletter...

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
newsletters:

All content © 2017 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation