Part of the Herd | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It

Part of the Herd 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

I met a guy online, and he seems really cool. We exchanged a few emails, and he asked me out. I was excited until I received his latest note. He picked a bar I would normally consider a great date choice, but then he wrote, “I like to take my first dates there.” A comment like that makes me feel like I’m just one in a long line of first dates. In an ideal world, a guy would choose a place that he thought I might like based upon our correspondence, but he’s obviously not willing to put in that much effort. I’m so miffed about it that not only am I writing to you for advice, but I’m also considering canceling the date. What do you think?


Part of the Herd

Dear P.O.T.H.,

Unfortunately, it can be hard to keep your head above water in the dating pool, and it sounds like your guy is in danger of drowning. If he’s been in the online dating scene for a while, he probably feels like the Grand Marshal of the Lackluster Date Parade, and he’s become lazy and formulaic when it comes to planning his dates. If meeting all of his potential mates at the same bar is a matter of convenience for him (perhaps the spot is close to where he works), that’s fine. But he never should have told you that — tacky!

You could cancel the date, but since you found him interesting enough to want to meet, I don’t think you should ditch him just yet. Instead of meeting him at his go-to spot, I suggest you throw a wrench into his usual first-date plans. Write him back and suggest that you meet someplace else. You can even say something like, “Wow, sounds like you go to that bar a lot! Why don’t we try something new?” Be thoughtful with your ideas: If he likes beer, suggest you meet up at a local brewery to try the new spring concoction; if he likes golf, entice him to join you at the driving range. If he’s willing to change up his routine and meet you on your terms, he might be a keeper. If not, it might be time to move on to a guy who has a little more tact.

Uniquely yours,


Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Social Club

Like Seven Days contests and events? Join the club!

See an example of this newsletter...

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2017 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation