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Plus None 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

My friend is getting married in a few months, and I recently got the invitation in the mail. It was addressed only to me, with no indication of a plus one. My friend has also made several comments that confirm she expects me to attend her wedding alone. That would be fine with me, except I have a new boyfriend whom she has met — twice! I know it’s a new relationship, but she definitely knows he’s my boyfriend, and I’m insulted that she didn’t include a guest on my invitation. How can she just ignore the fact that she has met my significant other?


Plus None

Dear Plus None,

Whether or not you like it, your friend has absolute power over her guest list, and it looks like you’ll be going stag to her wedding. That said, given that she has met your new beau on two separate occasions, she is sidestepping proper etiquette by not reaching out to you to explain your singular invite.

Before you start thinking that your girlfriend is hating on your new man, consider that she may be experiencing any of a variety of pressures that commonly befall a bride to be. She may be over budget or capacity and unable to extend plus-one invites — have you inquired with any other guests about their invitations? Keep in mind that the guest list is generally created early in the wedding-planning process. Chances are she had solidified the list before meeting your boyfriend.

It’s likely that there’s nothing malicious about your solo invitation to the wedding. Planning a wedding can take a toll on one’s sanity, and it’s possible that your friend is too engrossed in the process to realize she has made a faux pas. You have two options: Have a conversation with the bride, or suck it up and do the Electric Slide by yourself. If you choose to chat with her about bringing along your boyfriend, be sensitive so as not to awaken her inner bridezilla. Try something like, “It’s not a big deal either way, but I wanted to inquire whether my invitation includes a plus one. If not, I completely understand, but I wanted to be sure before I RSVP.”

Going to the chapel,


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Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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