Ragtime Gal | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It

Ragtime Gal 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress,

I have a question about sex and my period. I am a single, sexually active, thirtysomething woman, often juggling two casual partners at once (I like to keep things interesting). Inevitably, one of the guys I’m sleeping with will proposition me when I have my period. If the proposition comes via text message, it’s easy to just say “I’m busy tonight, let’s meet up next weekend.” However, if I’m out with the guy, it’s more difficult to rebuff his advances without giving him a concrete reason — and this is where I get awkward. Do I tell him that I’m on the rag? That just seems crude! But I’m worried that if I just give him a brush-off answer — I have to wake up earlier, I’m tired, etc. — he’ll think I’m not into him. Further, I’ve had guys say, “I don’t care, we can still do it.” I’m like, What?! These guys are not my boyfriends, and sex on my period seems too intimate. What do you think?


Ragtime Gal

Dear Ragtime,

What do I think? I think it’s all about what you think. If sex while Aunt Flo’s in town feels too intimate, don’t do it. Period sex can be messy, leaving you feeling vulnerable and forcing an intimacy that you’re not seeking in these casual relationships. That said, if you can shed the vulnerability with a guy who’s into it, period sex can be extremely satisfying. Many women report being at their horniest during menstruation, and orgasms are said to alleviate cramps — sure beats poppin’ ibuprofen. Just be sure to lay a dark towel down and have some wet wipes close by.

As for communicating your cycle, I’ve always been a fan of being blunt. If saying, “I’m on the rag” feels too brazen, try a simple, “It’s not a good time of the month” — which will surely get your point across. At the same time, keep in mind that you don’t have to give a good reason why you don’t want to have sex. Regardless of how many times you’ve slept with a guy in the past, you’re never obligated to put out.

Spread your wings,

Did you appreciate this story?

Show us your ❤️ by becoming a Seven Days Super Reader.

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2019 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation