Reality Check | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Reality Check 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Published July 13, 2011 at 10:40 a.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

Relationships and dating continue to be a mystery to me - a never-ending train ride to Suckville. I had been seeing this guy for six weeks, and things were going in a good direction. We would see each other two or three times per week. We started having sleepovers the first week were together, and he kept talking about vacations we would take and things we would do months down the line. I thought we were falling in love, until the bottom fell out.

Seemingly out of blue, while watching "The Bachelorette" (oh, the irony), he turned to me and said, "I think this is all moving way too fast. I need some space." I was like, "Uh, OK," and he left.

Since then, he has been texting me just to ask about my day - and he even stopped by once, crying and saying he had probably made a mistake. When I offered to give it another try, he said no - but of course he wanted to sleep with me! WTF!? I don't get it.

Please help before I swear off love forever.



Dear Confused,

First, let's address the most egregious issue in this dating disaster: Why were you watching "The Bachelorette" with a guy you've only known six weeks!? Viewing this far-from-reality dating show should only be shared with your sweatpants and a pint of Chubby Hubby - never with a guy you're getting to know. Besides, only a small percentage of the show's many couples have actually lasted, right? Perhaps your guy sensed a bit of foreshadowing and headed for the hills.

But I digress...

He said he needed space, so my advice is to give him exactly what he asked for. The longer you keep obliging him with time and attention, the longer it will take for him to realize he's actually lost you. The next time he texts, calls or stops by, kindly explain that communicating with him is not helping you move on and that you need him to back off. If you haven't already, let him know that you were developing real feelings for him, and you're unwilling to continue to be hurt by his mixed messages.

In the meantime, don't pine away for some guy who can't figure out what he wants. It's time for you to try some other bachelors on for size. You never know; your "final rose" could be awaiting you.

Reality star,


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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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