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Sneak-out of Shame 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Published November 13, 2013 at 1:22 p.m.

Dear Mistress,

My friends and I like to hang out at the same bar every Friday night for happy hour — they have great specials and we always have a blast with the bartender (plus, he’s easy on the eyes). Last weekend, after a particularly booze-fueled kiss-off to the workweek, I ended up taking the bartender home with me.

The sex was great, and we crashed in my bed — and I awoke at 6 a.m. to the sound of the door quietly shutting behind him. Really?! He didn’t say good-bye; no note. I don’t even have his number! I’m not some girl who thinks I’m going to marry the guy because I slept with him, and I don’t think I give off a desperate vibe. So basically I’m just enraged and embarrassed that he felt the need to sneak out. What’s more, I don’t know what to do about this week’s happy hour! I certainly don’t want to go sit at his bar and have him serve me cocktails. What do I tell my girls?


Not-So-Happy-Hour Gal

Dear Not-So-Happy-Hour Gal,

Given that bartenders rely on charm and social graces to rake in the tips, I’m surprised by this guy’s complete lack of class. Sneaking out is a dick move, and, in his case, it’s also bad for business. I’m guessing that you and your girlfriends drop quite a bit of money on drinks and tips each week, and he just kissed that income goodbye.

Who knows why he chose to sneak out like the Cowardly Lion — maybe he has a girlfriend, or maybe he’s a social moron when it comes to women. Either way, he certainly doesn’t deserve your continued business, and you should find a new spot for happy hour. Can you tell your girlfriends the truth? You hooked up with the bartender, he was a jerk and you’d like to go someplace else on Friday. Good friends will immediately stand behind you and find a new watering hole to shrug off the workweek. If you don’t want to share the story, simply suggest a change of scenery — it’s good to switch things up every once in a while.

When you bump into him in the future, act natural. If the moment is right, mention to him that you weren’t expecting him to take you to brunch, propose and make babies with you — but a quick kiss on the cheek and a thank you would have been the decent thing to do.



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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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