St. Paddy's Day Song Parody | Food News | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
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St. Paddy's Day Song Parody 

If you didn't already know, I'm a pretty big geek. I love obscure trivia, etymology, Latin, fantasy and science fiction novels, role playing games, collecting quirky cookbooks, and strange, slow moving foreign films. Or does all that make me a nerd? I'm not certain.

In any case, I also really love parody. Weird Al makes me laugh, and occasionally I'm moved to try my hand at creating new lyrics for popular songs. I've been waiting for a really long time to post this St. Patrick's Day version that I wrote last year...

You Cooked Me All Night Long

An AC/DC song from the point of view of a corned beef*

She's a cuisine machine
She keeps her kitchen clean
She makes the best damn meals that I've ever seen

She has shiny knives
and she's taking lives
Freakin' me out, when she minces up chives

She unwraps me bare
I take a gasp of air
She brings me to a simmer like she just doesn't care

Now the cabbage is shakin'
The 'taters are quakin'
My flesh is achin'
And the soda bread's bakin'

And you,
cooked me all, night long
Yeah you,
cooked me all, night long

Working double time
on the production line
She gives the pepper a grind
Blends up some mustard and thyme

Creates a horseradish sauce
to augment the main course
She'll make a meal out of me, and come back for more

Had to cool me down
And then she passed me round
I was placed in a ring
With veg and other things

Now the salt is flakin'
Guests' thirsts they're slakin'
Everybody's partakin'
Corned beef's as tasty as steak

And you,
Cooked me all night long
Yeah you,
Cooked me all night long

* Please note that the Irish don't actually eat much of corned beef, it's actually an Irish-American tradition. In Ireland, it's more common to eat bacon or other pork products along with cabbage and potatoes.

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About The Author

Suzanne Podhaizer

Suzanne Podhaizer

Contributor Suzanne Podhaizer is an award-winning food writer (and the former Seven Days food editor) as well as a chef, farmer, and food-systems consultant. She has given talks at the Stone Barns Center for Agriculture's "Poultry School" and its flagship "Young Farmers' Conference." She can slaughter a goose,... more


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